The Half-Assed Social Commentary

My Shaken Faith

2007-12-07T22:46:00.000+08:00

Everyone has beliefs. Yes, even me. We all need beliefs to fill in certain gaps in human knowledge; for example, the origin of life, our purpose in life or the reason for my accursed height. (or rather the lack of it) Some of us use a religious God to fill the gaps, some of us chose Science while some of us adopt a fatalistic approach which relegates uncertainties to Fate. If you know me well enough to be reading my blog, you should probably be able to guess that I trust Science to be the headlights in the fog of mysteries.

There can be many domains of Science but ultimately, Science must be able to answer the Mother of questions - the most fundamental questions about our existence and the driving force towards progress. Charles Darwin offered a very simple and elegant solution - the theory of evolution. Now many people underestimate the power of this theory; they ask how evolution can address the countless cultural shifts and revolutionary events during the course of the human civilisation.

Although the theory of evolution has often been vaunted as a biological crane (the theory of all theories), the essence of evolution theory can be applied to almost all areas of life! The reason behind its universal relevance is that we humans are biological life and it follows that our actions which lead to great disturbances in human civilisation must be motivated by our biological nature. (obvious but true) Biological life must have actions characteristic of biological life. Inanimate objects such as furniture must behave in ways vastly different from animate objects. For its immense power to explain, I have always stood in awe of evolution theory.

At the heart of evolution theory is the mechanism known as natural selection. In layman terms, natural selection in essence, dictates that only the strongest, fittest and most efficient can survive. Economics have Adam Smith's Invisible Hand. Evolution theory has the invisible hand of natural selection.

All biological life have one common purpose - to pass on the gene line via reproduction.

Suppose there are 1000 donkeys on earth. Out of these 1000 donkeys, 100 have only 3 legs while the remaining 900 are perfectly normal. Natural selection dictates that eventually all donkeys on earth will have 4 legs. Why? Donkeys with 3 legs have a disadvantage in food-sourcing and movement. Not only would the crippled donkeys be more likely to starve to death, they are also more less likely to be able to escape from predators. These factors combine to lower the probability of 3-legged donkeys mating and reproducing and a relatively high percentage of perfect donkeys will be able to mate and reproduce. Eventually the 3-leg donkey gene would be lost and all donkeys born would have the 4-leg gene. However, this simplified demonstration was done assuming that no other factors other than the number of legs affect the survival chances of the donkeys. In reality, there are many other factors such as muscularity, detection ability or even colour of skin. Despite the mounting complexity, natural selection still works seamlessly, quietly and automatically in the background.

Natural selection may be easily extrapolated to explain cultural shifts. For example, communism fell while democracy prospered. Why? Under communism, people were likely to have relatively lower standards of living and these decreased their probabilities to reproduce and carry on the gene line, ceteris paribus. Therefore, communism gave way to democracy which most likely offered a better shot at a comfortable life. As you can see, evolution theory is a powerful tool in analysing the causes of human events. Even the school administration utilises evolution theory unknowingly; latecomers are punished. In a bid to stamp out the culture of late-coming, they devised a system to make late-coming an agonising and potentially traumatising event. Since any agony and trauma, however small, will decrease biological welfare, students are expected to be trained to avoid late-coming and viola! The culture of late-coming disappears.

However, there are recalcitrant offenders like Low Zhao Xuan. (HAHA) No, no, they are not evolutionarily superior. Instead, their seemingly illogical actions may be attributed to other evolutionary benefits. For example, to Zhao Xuan, he may feel that there are more hot babes on later buses and by looking at them, he gains pleasure and welfare. Hence, taking later buses does in fact give him an evolutionary advantage! In this instance, in an attempt to pursue one evolutionary advantage, he forsakes another. (not getting owned by the DM) This phenomenon is said to be a side effect of an evolutionary advantage. Similar explanations can be found why moths tend to dive into candle flames and why homosexuals exist. (Controversial though, whether the effect is nature or nurture)

There is however one aspect of evolution theory which continues to puzzle me. Evolution theory predicts that there should be many fossils of Man-keys, Fish-frogs, the products during the process of continuous evolution. However, to his date, the fossils suggesting their existence are shockingly few! Charles Darwin defended his theory by suggesting that our knowledge of geology is far from mature and hence exploration works had been futile. Nonetheless, that defence was more than a century ago. Are our geologists idiots? I don't think so. Then again, it must be noted that there are some scientists who argue that the discovered fossils are already supportive of evolution theory. This is the reason why my faith is shaken. I hope this does not invite evangelists because I have more daunting questions for religion than missing fossils.

PS.
ZhanWen, cheer up!
ZhaoXuan, don't be late in NS or you will lose the right to drive me

my thoughts

2007-12-02T21:34:00.000+08:00

Whee! I am free from the shackles of academia. Well, at least for a little while. As NS beckons soon, I figured that I should grab the opportunity to give my 5 cents worth of crap about things that I see every now and then. ( my friends think I will not survive SOTAC, LOL ) There are so many things that pass us by but we often don't or cannot afford to take the effort to analyse them. When this happens, we may become blind to fallacies in many things mainstream.

Most of the time, people take for granted that anything mainstream is 'correct'. However, being mainstream simply implies its orthodoxy. Heliocentric-ism was orthodox but today we all know that Earth goes around the Sun. To digress a bit, let me tell you of an exchange between a famous philosopher (forgot his name) and his friend.

Philo: Why do people assume that the sun goes around the earth?
Friend: Because from our view, the sun goes around the earth. I suppose that's why.
Philo: How would it have looked from our view if the earth was to revolve the sun instead?

Alright, if the genius of the philosopher has not gotten to you yet. Go get your husk checked. It might be empty ( or you could be a theologian? )

Having demonstrated that orthodoxy does not necessarily translate to truth, we must never trust completely what we observed in everyday life. I remember reading The New Paper last week and came across a curious article on the controversy surrounding the movie, The Golden Compass.

The article reports on the decision by some religious organisations to boycott the movie because the movie was perceived to have subtle themes which are contrary to religious values. (notice the bigotry of religion?) Since, I have not watched the movie, I have no capacity to comment on the saga and whether there were really any Anti-Christ themes.( yes, they used 'Anti-Christ )

Not as if I am interested to do so anyway. Remember that my issue of interest today is the concept of orthodoxy.

Zooming into the article, I noticed that a Christian had commented that she would not boycott the movie because doing so will proliferate conflicts and that faith is not about being argumentative. This comment paints a beautiful portrait of the calm and rational faithful. Or is it? To many people, this comment is a perfectly orthodox comment; people should not be in conflict, being argumentative brings immediately to mind of a scenario of flaring tempers and possibly violence. Doesn't it? I beg to differ.

I wonder why should the religiously faithful avoid debate and argumentation? Is it because it is obvious that their beliefs do not stand up to the logical rigours of argumentation? Is it because they realise that it is better to obey the wisdom of avoiding battling a lost cause? Besides, why is debate and argumentation even undesirable in the first place?! Debate and argumentation are the tools by which we bring conflicts to order, it should not be viewed as the bringer of conflicts to order. Only through debates and argumentation can we be exposed to the viewpoints of both parties and ultimately let the magic of logic (wow, it rhymes) take over and come to a mutually-accepted conclusion. How can this even be bad? Besides, debates and argumentation also have the ability to raise consciousness. Raising consciousness is one of the most powerful catalysts for societal progress. Think universal suffrage, abolition of racial discrimination and efforts against abject poverty in the world.

However, there is only a fine line between raising consciousness and being a conflict-monger. Still that does not mean that we should avoid argumentation and debate all together. Abandon a peaceful path to disagreements and forgo societal progress. You decide whether it's worth it.

That was an example of how much we can pick up from reading a single comment. My point, once again, is orthodoxy must not be taken at face value. If we commit the unfortunate error of doing so, we might just be taken for a ride by people who come along and claim that I am tall. :D

SBS

2007-07-02T23:38:00.000+08:00

Everyone lives a great deal of their mortal life as a commuter. I've got to be really specific since I do not know how post-life beings travel. I am not going to publish any statistics on how much time an average person spends commuting because

1) I am lazy to source for that sort of crap.
2) I can spout some imaginary number and you would believe me nonetheless.

Anyway, I spend about 1.5 hours commuting between my Jurong West home and Bukit Timah school every day so it should be pretty significant in the long run. As the Chinese proverb goes ' Go up the mountain frequent enough and you will meet a tiger ', with the long hours I spend on the bus, I am bound to bump into interesting events. ( the concept of 'interesting' being largely contestable and subjective ) By the way, that proverb proves that the Chinese discovered statistics and that tigers like to meet the Chinese.

The greatest scourge of the technological era, for all its gizmo and wizmo, has got to be the advent of the MP3- enabled phones. The spurious child of an electronic affair between the MP3 player and the handphone, it has ensured that maximum damage can be accomplished by a minimum number of people. And we are not talking nukes and clumsy Iranian scientists. To my bus-riding readers, ask yourselves how many times have you been subjected to the onslaught of cheesy Mandopop while we were trying to catch some winks? O the torment of being force-fed their music! I do not mean to discriminate against people of any particular socio-economic backgrounds but hey, Ah Bengs and their equally socially-unconscious female counterparts should sell more pirated VCDs or shoplift more so that they can afford one handphone AND one MP3 player.

I think Ah Bengs and Ah Lians have got serious issues, they do not seem to understand that in this modern age, subtlety is in and flash is out; this isn't some stone age where the noisiest bitch and asswipe becomes the rulers of the jungle and get the most late-night action. This message probably applies to my neighbours; I want to thank you for blasting your cheapskate stereo system every afternoon.

Yeah. Fuck you, go steal some earphones because your music stinks like forgotten used underwear in camp haversacks.

Sometimes, I think that the real problem in the society is not discrimination from the 'upper class', but one that is so prevalent among the discriminated. Those people who whines their pants off about elitism are the ones who constantly make a fool out of themselves by preferring to complain, rather than work at the widening gap. Likewise, Ah Bengs and Lians unfailingly captures our widest imagination on how challenged our species can really be.

This is a true account. A rain-induced jam at Upper Bukit Timah. Cars honking. Tempers flaring. Tensions thick enough to be cut. Ah Beng whips out phone and blast Jay Chou's Initial D song, complete with tyres screeching sounds. Well done for successfully securing further social discrimination of you and your pathetic minions.

Need I say that this problem is also common on the MRT? By the way, Mat and tamil music suck just as much. If not more. Let us, people who are evolutionarily-superior, unite against the threat of people with grotesque social graces.

a tribute to friends

2007-06-20T22:56:00.000+08:00

Confessions

This holiday allowed for quite a bit of friends-time. I was pleasantly surprised when JiaJun, a secondary school friend of mine, invited me over to his chalet. That gave me quite a bit of time with my secondary friends and ex-platoon mates. I must say I was kinda sad even though I managed to go to my dream school, NJC because the rest of my lunch-at-IMM clique went to ACJC. So I treasure whatever little time we can get together and catch up on old times and bitch about people.

Despite the inhumane amount of garbage that comes forth my mouth, I am in fact, a selfish person. I am your classic movies villain who will not give a damn about friends if my ass is on the line. Somehow, I have an utter contempt of the sacredness of friendships. I do not know when, but some time in my life, I became disillusioned with the idea that friends are important.

Sometimes, I feel like I have split personalities, one evil and one good. The evil part of me preaches the above-mentioned perception of friends while the good part of me longs for closeness to many human beings. Many times when my ass is up in a bunch, I can feel the 2 voices competing for supremacy. Unfortunately, the evil part of me often wins. Maybe my arrogance has given birth to my belief that friends are but a luxury. I like to think that I am great. Am I really?

Perhaps, it is the multitude of failures of human relationships but I have really lost faith in innocent human relations. Sometimes, I wish that everyone would just fuck off. Yet sometimes, I want them to talk to me. I am one damn guy who really cannot make up his mind.

Most of the time when I am seen merrying with my friends, I can sense an uneasy void in me. It feels like I am a robot programmed to interact and fulfill my social expectations. But behind the facade, does the robot really want to do this, does it NEED to do this? I think I am really a devil bound by the thick and heavy chains of social expectations. I can never truly be free and maybe that's a good thing.

Then again, there are really some people whose company I enjoy and cherish. Let's not use the label 'friends' but I think that my life is happier when I am around with them. Maybe that is a hint of a shred of companionship desire?

whee!?

2007-06-05T21:13:00.000+08:00

In all sensitivity for the bereaved... don't you guys realise that there has been an abnormally high frequency of accidents involving trees and the waters? I think that it is rather spooky, especially the incidents where trees fall on people. I guess this shows that the Singapore government is fallible too; years of go-green-plant-many-trees policies have backfired. Perhaps the trees are pissed that their brethren is subjected to chainsaws-induced genocide as NJC continues to use an obscene amount of tree-pulp to print mini-booklets of losers r' us candidates. No, no. Don't get me wrong. There are, like totally, so many kinds of candidates in NJC and you could not possibly infer anything from my insinuations. * cue Mama Theresa-esque smile *

Recently, I read from my friend's blog that the student council handing-over in JJC was attended with much enthusiasm and excitement. I really wonder why. There are only 3 possible reasons how such a gargantuan feat is even achievable.

- JJC councillors did a really good job.
- The audience were paid.
- The audience were robots.

I mean NJC students will display as much enthusiasm as a tiger in a vegetarian restaurant, should we be made to sit through the investiture. In my opinion, the NJC student council has not really fought for the students' rights and welfare. Yes, they had feedback sessions where people made complaints and sometimes they got addressed and resolved. But, I would like to think that, after years of English education, I am capable of complaining to the school authorities on trivialities such as spoilt-this-spoilt-that. Other than that, what they have managed is to pester and irritate the constipation out of me. The horror probably lies in that I am not alone. In fact, there is at least one teacher who agrees with me. For confidentiality's sake, I cannot reveal his identity or Putin would put plutonium in your morning coffee.

If I did not remember wrongly, the parting speech by the president included the Leadership Symposium as one of the council's achievements. True, it was a job well done but I must question- was that really their fundamental obligation? Especially if they had not fulfilled the basics expected of them. Perhaps I am being a tad too anal but that is really a piece of my mind, provided that you don't mind that the piece of mind of mine is in fact, a pissed mind. But who cares, you shouldn't mind my mind being pissed because I am obligated to have a pissed mind because it is my mind. My mind mimes me. That was random.

Ok, back to the topic. The first possibility was tackled.

I can assure you that we were definitely not paid to be enthusiastic about the handing-over. Hmm... At least, I wasn't...

The last one is easy- how can students be robots?! HAHAHA... Oh crap, why are my arms moving involuntarily?

2007-05-12T19:42:00.000+08:00

I have been running so long.
Weary of wearing a clown's makeup.
Drained because I have to battle the roaring waves in my pond.
Weak from defending a breached castle.
Tired to have to hobble through the snow in my winter.
Afraid because reality seems too real.
Frustrated to smell spring which I cannot touch.
Wrecked as I watch myself becoming part of the autumn wind.

Mask cracks faster than I can put it together.
Fear that someone would see what is underneath it.
May tenacity favour me in this uncertainty.
May peace be with this defeated one.

2007-03-20T19:47:00.000+08:00

I think that if my blog actually has a lawyer, it would undoubtedly sue my ass off for negligence. Anyway, 3 months or so have whizzed past which is bad because it means I am 3 months nearer to National Service. I know that me whining about National Service is so not me because 1) I love Singapore terribly and 2) I am in National Junior College which has the motto 'Service with Honour' so National Service should be the ultimate culmination of my school's ideals. Well, it's not that I dread serving my country but thinking about 2 years of botakness and being able to smell like a garbage dump, any rational person can't help feeling lacklustre at such a 'welcoming' prospect. I certainly hope that I would have an enjoyable NS experience and that doesn't translate to my desire to be in Commandoes or Naval divers. I would like to believe that I have a fair crack at a bright future and not die meaninglessly in some random military exercise. Hah. I am just kidding and I better change topic before I get 2 Man-in-black at my door steps and that would mean you would probably never see me again.

Anyway, hockey has been quite an interesting journey for me because it has for once, brought the spirit of competition to my life. For most of my education life, I have either been in some geeky club (primary school) or in a uniformed group (secondary school), I have never had to compete aggressively. In NCC, I believe the challenge lies not in competition but rather honing of leadership skills so I had quite a comfortable life at the top where I am protected by the clockworks of rank heirachy. As any economics student will tell you, lack of competition is bad. True enough, over the years, I have grown to be competition-adverse. Maybe it is the success that I enjoyed but I started to dread any contests for fear of shameful defeat and failure. Even when I play recreational basketball with my friends, I would be reluctant to play against opponents.

Hockey has forced me to stare competition in its cold and cruel eyes. Since NJC is not exactly a powerhouse, throughout the U-18 tournament, we suffered quite a few defeats, some heavy ones, to our more illustrous opponents. It was definitely torturing and painful everytime we lost so I would question myself what the shit have I gotten myself into because if I have not joined hockey, none of this will happen to me. But as the law of life goes, shit happens and I, looking back, have never been more glad to have gotten into that shit! I guess the turning point of my fairly short hockey experience was the humongous 0-6 defeat to Raffles Institution. That was the first time in many years that I have failed so terribly. My confidence as a goalkeeper plunged to an all-time low and it wasn't until 1 month or so that I finally got over it. But that defeat was an excellent lesson not only at match mentality but a tremendous one at accepting defeats constructively.

For example, when we played CSC, a far better team than RI in my opinion, we still lost by 0-6 but that defeat was meaningful and I was actually happy even after the loss because I knew that I had put up a more-than-decent fight against them, unlike the match against RI. This made me realise that defeats can be accepted more easily if I had tried my utmost best. And this has definitely made me a better goalkeeper and a better person. If any of you hockers is satisfying your voyeuristic fetishes NOW, I hope my shameless account of my adventure has helped to inspire. Nationals are coming soon. I would not want to have worn the stinky goalkeeper's gear for nothing.

Ps. Hockey Wei Xiang: What's your profession? AA! AA! AA!

2007-01-27T23:42:00.000+08:00

First of all. I would like to inform all loyal readers that due to financial constraints and the looming threat of H5N1 bird flu virus, I am thereby coerced to discontinue the 3rd installment of my Chinese Singaporean in Indian India trilogy. Nah. I am just kidding. I just got tired of it in the midst of a whirlwind of competitions and trainings. :D But hey! When you've got your own blog, anything goes. So, unhappy souls go suck on your thumbs.

Of course, I do not mean to be mean because I am just being me. I shall now embark on my tag replies. Firstly, this is to ALL NJC HOCKEY PLAYERS, you freaking voyeurs and kaypohs! You just got pwned! Secondly, Sam the ham ma'am is now Sam the fan. :D But as a loyal and upright member of Kenny's Empire, it is extremely inappropraite and unbecoming of you to compare me to Her Loudness, Ms Xiaxue. Once again, I do not mean to be mean but I think she should not attempt to do a Michael Jackson on national television. I find it distasteful and view it as a pathetic attempt at publicity, good or bad. Michael Jackson did not go onto Extreme Makeover and subjected himself to industrial bleach in front of millions so I see no reason for Ms Xiaxue to do likewise.

Now, let me clarify that I am not condemning plastic surgery but I think it should be done discreetly and in private. Divided moral camps aside, it should be done because one seriously feels their looks are imperfect and that going under the scapel can increase their confidence. Therefore, doing plastic surgery on public television defeats the whole point. Let me exemplify my assertion. Ms Xiaxue's action is like a robber having stolen something and wearing a T-shirt with the line, 'I stole something'. I can thus conclude that, too much makeup makes someone dumb.

Anyway, hockey has been pretty fun! We have done reasonably well but it is premature and inappropraite to really detail on our performances now. Out.

2006-12-23T19:31:00.000+08:00

Welcome back to the 2nd chapter of the trilogy: Chinese Singaporean in Indian India. In this episode, I will discourse on my stay in Kuruchi village and my experience in the construction of the pre-school.

Fast forward to the destination, there was PANDEMONIUM when we arrived at the village, the entire village population must have been there. Drums, flowers, dancers, noisy kids, pokey adults, you name it, they had it! It was quite a pleasant surprise. After all the protocols and mumb jumbo we arrived at our lodging place which were school classrooms. The classrooms were dusty and spartan but it was nonetheless much better than I had expected. I was prepared to stay in a mud house with straw roofs so I was more than relieved that we were going to have proper shelter for the week. I picked a cosy corner of the room, furthest away from the window so that the bugs are the most unlikely to reach me but my precaution would be useless as I would soon find out.

The construction of the pre-school was quite tedious because we have to shift sand and bricks with insufficient and backward equipment. By backward, I mean hoes, metal plates and sacks so it was pretty much inefficient. Basically we were transporting materials to and froth without anything with a wheel. However, we got the job done which was pretty cool.

The most horrible aspect of this expedition is not the dung-laced roads, not the dirty environment, not the horrible and rude service at the restaurants but THE INDIAN KIDS. And I say 'the' as in 'DA Indian kids'. They were terribly irritating because they will ask for your name and your parents' and your siblings and I suspect everyone else in your family and beyond. The juicy part is that they do it on a daily basis and almost everytime they meet you. So it kinda gets on your nerves especially after an entire day of labour and masala meals.

It must have been the food because I fell terribly sick when I came back to Singapore. I was paralysed and felt really awful. My hockey teammates say it is Masala withdrawal symptoms and that I was having cold turkey. Speaking of which, I am pretty sure they have got spices in their Christmas turkey back in India. Incredible India, you gotta love to hate it.

The Land of Bollywood

2006-12-17T15:46:00.000+08:00

It has been quite a while since i updated! For the unintiated once again, I went on an expedition to India with National Cadet Corps. Ok, I was lying. I did not go to Bollywood. (or anywhere near it!) I went to this littlest of the little village named Kuruchi in Tiruchirapalli to HELP to build a spartan and simple pre-school. Note the word 'Help' because we, at the very most, contributed only about 30% to the construction. I guess the real takeaway was the experience of life in India which I am going to elaborate in just a instant.

First up on the menu of culture shocks- the airports. The Indian airports are really JUST airports! I know I sound illogical but their airports are really nothing like Singapore's (in a bad way of course). I spy lots of construction going on at their runaways, seriously the conditions of the roads and the runaways are exceedingly similar that I would not be surprised if the aircraft lands on the roads instead. Though that would mean I would not be here being an ambassador of Indian airports. In case you are wondering, Indian airports have at most 1 or 2 shops and their idea of hospitality is not hissing at you. I am mean.

Their traffic rules are really cool because.... there are NONE! Every ride you take plunges you into a realm of near-death experiences. As Captain Gary likes to say, 'your ass is on the line'. So it is like being in a video game every ride and I mean that literally. I remembered the last taxi ride I had in India, there were probably a few times when a blinding light engulfed me and a holy figure reached out its inviting hand. Ok, I was kidding but that is how scary it is.

Ok, the time is up for the first chapter of the trilogy: Chinese Singaporean in Indian India.
Disclaimer: The explicit mention of races is not aligned to any elements of racism. It is absolutely important as you will see in further chapters of my trilogy

hockey

2006-11-02T18:40:00.000+08:00

I am finally paying some much deserved attention to this blog.

So promos are over. But I find my life still as hectic as before, in a good way I guess. For the uninitiated, I have actually joined NJC hockey as a goalkeeper. Though the goalkeeper pads stink beyond words can describe (a few generations of goalkeepers' sweat and god-knows-what) and the horrible runs force my cranky and rusty old bones to move, I think being in a team is really cool. Now I know what's all the big fuss about being a 'hocker'. Somehow, the trainings remind me of my Sec 1 and 2 NCC days where the team spirit was really strong because we had to take a lot of shit.

Being a goalkeeper is really fun. You feel invulnerable (well almost) and there is so much to learn. The ball moves so fast that you cannot really see it thus you have to anticipate and position yourself well. So it kinda strokes your ego when you can stop such a fast object and keep the goal safe.

We have an upcoming SRC 4-a-side tournament this coming Saturday. The playing surface is field and I have been drafted. It is quite difficult for me because not only am I not accustomed to using a player hockey stick, (yes, there is a difference between a player's and a goalkeeper's stick) the playing surface is alien to me. We tried out playing on field for training today. The ball, as expected, refuses to cruise on the undulating ground, grass, mud and all. As a result, we have to resort to brute strength to attack and defend and we all know that a stick has no eyes- there were quite a lot of injuries this week. I received a couple of rough knocks on my ankles and some on my knee and shin. Well, at least, I have come to appreciate my goalkeeper pads.

SSC2006

2006-09-08T11:25:00.000+08:00

I was looking forward to Senior Specialist Course 2006 because the course was all about drills proficiency which I totally ADORE, unlike horrible Specialist Course with all the mumbo-jumbo about rifles. That aside, I actually learnt that Air CLTs are generally great to work with, nothing of the hot air that I have heard so much about them. My fellow APCs were Alvin and Ahmad. Wonderful guys. Not forgetting WenTing, the garang PC, i have actually been looking forward to working with her. Not a bad experience at all, she was very thoughtful and organised. Maybe it's just me, but I have never seen a PC compiling all the appraisals into a book, I thought that was really cool. I think I used the appraisals in Specialist Course as rough paper :P

Overall, I thought that the standard of the cadets have fallen. It is appalling to see how some of them fumbled with their arms drills and struggling to do a proper bang. They should have prepared themselves adequately. However, I must say that I was fortunate to have an OK platoon, not much attitude problems and pretty obedient, except for the inevitable occasional clown-ny moments. Then again, there were 2 award-winners from my platoon so I guess we are not too bad after all.

I think the greatest thing about being a CLT is... BATHING slowly in camps! A clean Kenny is a happy Kenny :) I know WenTing has a lot to say about that. Food was okay though the vegetables taste of tap water as always. Logistics were great and I think Straw-Perry did a really good job as a Logistics OIC. Some senior CLTs said I walk like a king-kong. Now, that's new.

Probably my last Senior Specialist Course ever. It was a great homecoming.

The World Needs More Love

2006-07-30T23:27:00.000+08:00

I think movies which detail love stories are great. I watched Helen the Baby Fox and The Lake House this week. They remind me of the finer things in the world admist the whirlwind of life. The stories told are so beautiful that no amount of rhetoric and words could possibly describe it. O the limitations of the cold hard instruments of Man. I despair at the fact that one could only take in the stories and deem it to be too idealistic to exist in this dark, dark world we live in. If there is anything the world is deficient of, it must be love for another life.

SYFOC 2006 Experience

2006-07-02T20:54:00.000+08:00

Singapore Youth Festival 2006 was scorching hot! Literally. Many CLTs, including me, volunteered as event ushers under the merciless sun. I saw economics come to life as the nasi lemak stall showed me the prowess of Demand and Supply- the pathetic nasi lemak cost me 300 cents! What has the world come to?! As usual, the toilet stinks and there is no mirror for me to frown at my creased shirt. Aaron and I were stationed at South 2b with 2 policemen. The delicious primary school kids were very amusing in the sense that they kept on addressing affectionately the 2 men in blue as '' policemen hello! '' I have a feeling they do not know what is NCC since we were not clad in our familiar camouflaged uniform.

But that did not make the little kids any less delicious. It would be like deeming a steak as yucky because it does not know math. Speaking of ignorance, Shankra's stupidity and lack of sensitivity are really glaring. Just when I have stood on the side of animal welfare groups, he has to come and shake my belief. When I was standing around and yakking away with my friends, he has to come beside me with his friend to put up a wayang show. The plot basically revolves around his experience with MS VANESSA. Now, the identity of MS VANESSA is not important and is totally irrelevant to me because I would never masquearade as a female to talk to him. I am okay with the masquearading part but the talking-to-him part just sucks. Apparently, he was insinuating that my friend was MS VANESSA, ok, perhaps he was right, people hate him. But hey! Reality hurts. Ouchie Woochies. I digressed. Even if MS VANESSA was my friend, I do not see the need for me to know of it because I cannot control their actions. I treat people like humans and not like beasts, I do not act like a sadist and fail their butts off.

The point is, if you got something to tell me or you want to confront me, feel free to do so. Don't go buzzing around me like a fly because the chance is that I hate flies and I smack them. I think you need to consult David Beckham seriously because he is a world-renowned DEAD BALL specialist. Maybe he can help you with those spheres or rather the lack of it?

Poke-Uproar

2006-06-22T22:03:00.000+08:00

I guess my template just about blew the cover off my closely-guarded secret... that I like pokemon! Isn't the template gorgeous? The sea blue of the shell-burdened Squirtle and the electric yellow of Pikachu, the red-cheeked one. Bulbasaur lost its legs after hearing too many lame jokes. Kudos to the horizontally-challenged infant. Anyway, pokemon is nice so get used to it and stop your whining about how childish I am :) It so happened that my bed-mates are pokemon soft toys, thus EVERYone should love pokemon because it would otherwise be a terrible insult to the fortunate ones who share my cosy lair. It would be like telling someone that his wife looks like EGESTIVE product, only that I have 2 of them. Gotta catch em' all! Pokemon should pay me for such rare undying loyalty to them. Speaking of catching them all, someone should really be catching psychopaths who write about stabbing some funny woman when she is lying in his embrace. I mean, that is a crime against logic- if i were the woman, if the guy stabbed me when we were turning it on, I would give him a good one-two to his family jewels before I die. And not engage in some CORNICS like staring into his eyes, searching for an answer. YOU MUST HAVE TAKEN TOO MUCH OF IT TO YOUR HEAD DURING TAEKWANDO SO KEEP THAT BADGE OFF YOUR CHEST. :)

I don't know about writing corny and sappy stories under the moon, much less being a dumb blonde who got stabbed and did nothing. BUT. I know we should be nice to people. For example, by trying not to fail them and not screwing them inside out. We should not be hysterical over people's long hairstyle unless yours is any shorter than theirs and especially if your moustache does not comply to SAF turnout standards. Ophir is fun but sorry dude, you outlived everyone's patience long before that. :)

=))

2006-06-15T22:39:00.000+08:00

hi everyone...

i just wanna say

i'm very brown like a teddy bear :)

96 hours

2006-06-12T18:41:00.000+08:00

Recently, I embarked on my first camp as a CLT instructor. I was a bit apprehensive about what is expected of myself and what others expect of me. Thankfully, it did not turn out too bad! I guess I was lucky that I got a fantastic and tame platoon.

Day 0
I was starving when I came into the West District office. Instinctively, I got my sights on Wenting's fries and it was after a long while before I garnered up enough guts to ask her to spare me the fries she was about to throw away. More than 17 years of dignity abandoned for a packet of fries... Why not?! :) To cut the bovine excretion short, we had our instructors' briefing and went to bed. Bedtime was hell because the other CLTs were wrecking havoc in the bunk and making such a huge din that it would make Melissa look like Ms Careless Whisper. :) I guess the Russell Crowe in some of the CLTs came out because it was not long before they whipped out murderous brooms and fought for their dear lives (with more noise of course) So it was with a string of expletives and whining before I had an audience with Mr Sandman.

Day 1
Woke up, bathed and brushed teeth and it is packing-up time before meeting the cadets at the lower parade square. Fast forward to boarding the bus and all the usual mumbo-jumbo of taking attendance and briefing the little kids on the rules and regulations. SUDDENLY, I froze. Bus travelling at 90kmph. Me. Forgotten to bring my bag up the bus. So I sunk into depression the entire day at the prospect of not being able to bathe. I was not prepared to wear other people's undies and use their towels. No way! That aside, the day was pretty monotonous apart from mealtimes when the movement of cadets had to done with great precision and speed. Day came. Day went and soon it was sleepy time. Sleeping with CLTs was really fun. Snoring, kicking, snorting and even sleeptalking! Shankra freaked me out when he propped himself up and started chantin yoda yoda yoda at 4.15am. It was later discovered that he was dreaming about a particular girl. (who has no direct relations to Star Wars whatsoever)

Day2
It is equally boring as the first day but I made new friends like Aaron and Guan Ren. This was essential because Aaron and I would later take cover when it was cleaning-up time. Should anything have happened, it would be better for 2 persons to be caught rather than one. :) Essence of teamwork. It was quite a short day and soon we were making arrangements for the cadets to go home while I was quietly fantasising about the joys of being able to bathe in HQ later in the night. On the way back to HQ, Aaron recorded Shankra's declaration of his love for his dreamgirl on his handphone and Guan Ren probably did more damage to his hair folices by banging his head on the bus shelves 3 times. Briefing time in HQ followed by bitch-O-mania over McDonalds! Sleepy time was better today because everyone was so shagged. Even Gladiators need their beauty sleep.

Day3
Evangeline is really weird! But she is really good in trainfire so I did not have to worry much about my Achilles heel. Today is the Army-NCC badge test day. I swear that I could have been bored to death if not for the jokes here and there. Anyway, let's fast forward to the Finale of the day- the bridging session between teachers and CLTs. It does not even smell like a bridging session, let alone look like one. It reeks of TNT. It was like Singapore fighting Malaysia and me being the causeway. Outcame all the cannons, missles and posssibly catapults but I think SCLT Eileen dealt the finishing blow by asking Malaysia to do 'voluntary labour'. Then out of nowhere, a projectile named 'its better late than never' came flying our way. We could only lay down our arms and prostrate ourselves before this argument of such unpredecented magnitude of crippleness it would put Prof X to shame. Malaysia had won the fight.

Day4
Malaysia woke up late today so Singapore had to do all the voluntary labour as usual. Singapore could have refused to sell Malaysia breakfast but Singaporeans are nice. POP already.... BAH.. I am just being lazy like a Malaysian.

This blog smells like a dead animal

2006-04-17T21:36:00.000+08:00

** Dusts blog ** I have not touched this blog for such a long time, it is starting to smell like a badly decomposed carcass. I will not attempt the impossible task of blogging everything that has happened since the demise of my blog.

Let's fast forward to April 17 when Zhao Xuan got jolted out of his peaceful slumber on the canteen bench by YiRong letting fly a cry that his... fly was undone. I actually feel very guilty because it was actually my idea. I shall forgive you for messing up my hair with your bag on the fateful day in LT5 then. Today was also a sorry day for my pitiful ears. ShiJun was unleashing his vocal prowess upon Guo Hui and me. I am going to check if the school bookshop sells masking tape first thing tomorrow. Actually a stapler would suffice too. :) Final Destination 4 anyone?

I am so dreading this Wednesday because we have to sit in the hall, listening to over a hundred cheerleaders-wannabes giving speeches on why we should vote for them. Oh come on, a match between PAP and WP is more interesting. Seriously, they have no need for an entire day to promote their 'dedication to the school' because they have redefined 'campaigning' as can be seen how a poster has ended up as target practice in the urinal. However, optimistic kenny has the vision to find good in this overhyped cheerleaders-wannabe election; at least I have free tissue paper to use after my morning meals and sweets to satisfy my sweet tooth. It is such a waste of time! NJC all the way.. eerrr

Fun-filled PAE

2006-03-12T22:04:00.000+08:00

All good things have to come to an end. PAE is not an exception. Though I still cannot grasp the rationale of having the 1st week of orientation, I must say the 2nd week more than made up for the terrible first. However, I made some friends during the terrible 1st week. People like XingZhi, Kang Li, Andric and Le Xian made it so much bearable. I remembered us getting high singing the school song so you can imagine how bored we were.

Then, there was also the GREAT SCAM. Let's just say that the girl-guy ratio during that ''OG outing'' was overwhelmingly in disfavour of the girls. (actually there was only one) Eventually, only XingZhi, Kang Li and I went to Marina Bay to eat a steamboat buffet until we nearly exploded. Too much value for money.

Fast forward to the fantastc 2nd week of orientation. CHEAT TO WIN! We were extremely competitive during the station games but we had so much fun because of that. The games of NUMBERS and Truth-or-Dare was abundant. However, I kind of spoilt the game of Truth-or-Dare because there was only one universal answer to who the hottest one in class. I enjoyed the class outings at KAP tremendously. So many stories to listen to, too much pee. In case you guys do not know, I did not want to go to the washroom because I was afraid of missing out on the interesting stories. Pretty though-provoking... Speaking of provoking thoughts, I would never had learnt the trick behind ''black magic'', ''MRT game'' and ''bangbangbang'' without my dearest 06S02.

damn it. It is actually ''maktab''

2006-02-28T22:50:00.000+08:00

It has been a really long time since I last updated. I realised that my class is really interesting. Okay... I know I promised to do a special on the girls in this entry but I think some of the guys are simply impossible to miss.

Alex possesses the famed corrosive skin which Jian Gang claims is attributed to a diet of lots of meat. Meat = ammonia gas
He loves to irritate me with this ramblings in Cantonese and Malay. Basically, he speaks in any language other than English. He told me he has a pair of shoes which can scold vulgarities. Despite all these, I must say I am really impressed by his dancing skills. Yeah baby~~ you heard it... this man got the moves.

Then there is Jian Gang who has the nagivation skills of a teaspoon. Everyone knows what happened outside Ca5. Even Mr Menon is turned on by his SEXY PE shorts which put any cheongsams to shame.

I decided that I would be really nice and give out farewell gifts to everyone in my class on friday. 06S02, if you all are reading this. This gives you extra motivation to come to class on friday. Nice presents are going to be given out by the Nicer Kenny. Speaking of presents, I wonder where the rose I bought went.

I would never forget my first road run day in NJC. I took the idea of ''swopping uniform'' to a whole new level. People who are comtemplatating suicide on Friday can obtain pictures from me. Guaranteed to induce death or money back. In the event you survive the horror, you can look for Zoee and ask for the Flying Shoe attack. No No, it is not the shoe which will kill you. This is how you are supposed to kill youself with the attack.

1) provoke Zoee to make her unleash THE SHOE
2)pick up the shoe
3)smell it

Shi Jun taught me a song today. You all may find it familiar but there is a SLIGHT change in words. Here goes... [ sing to tune of kukabara ]

KuKu Bird-ah sits on the old gum tree
Mary Mary king of the BUSH is he....
Laugh KuKu Bird-ah
Laugh KuKu Bird-ah
Gay your life must be!

Maktub!

2006-01-20T18:33:00.000+08:00

School school school! National Junior College is such a wonderful school. Save for the toilets, I think the facilities are fantastic. Then again, it may be due to the fact that I dwelled in the hellhole known as Commonwealth for close to half a decade, where vandalised toilets are hailed as art and the classroom circuits were never the same ever since we learned circuits in Physics.

The people there are great too. Minghui even introduced me to a ' femininally inclined' male from his alma-mater. How can I leave out the potent all-boys combination of '' HEY IS TOM DICK VERY HARRY? YES ABSOLUTELY! '' Okay. I will try not to bombard you all with private jokes. The teachers are amazing! The discipline thinks my hairstyle is acceptable. WOWEE! For a justification of my shock, kindly visit NJC at Hillcrest Road to view the great exhibition that is my hair. Remember, if you want to take a cab there, don't tell the driver '' Opposite HCI.'' It's Hillcrest Road.

I am also the National Education Ambassador of 06S02. YAY! I will make everyone in my class love Singapore. My name on the class tee is going to be '' Tall Kenny''. After all, i deserved to be conferred that title because I am a mind-boggling 1650mm tall tower . OK! I can hear you all guffaw at me now. TSK. I am the shortest guy in class lah! But the tee shirt part is true.

Going to school is an adventure (misadventure) every day when your going-to-school mate is RACHEL CHIANG CHOR MEI. But I have to give her credit for making the boring bus ride fun. She has the hots for Sruthi. Wonder if Rachel loves yoghurt rice and uses toilete de shite. I believe NJC is more adept at converting hokkien-spouting Chinese into potato-eating Angmohs than the glorious ACJC. ( Sheng Chuan, don't worry. I still love you ) I have a middle name already! 110% angmoh. At this point in time, I have to disappoint you if you are clearing your throat to call me something along the lines of '' Kenny Anderson Lee '' YES. I have big boobs and CURLY eyelashes but I prefer to delude myself I have some grey matter. My middle name is TRANSVESTITE. Yes you heard it. Well done, Yujia, Zhi Hui (SPACE!), Rachel Chiang and Alicia.

So my name is Kenny Transvestite Phua. I swear I do not look like one. Don't believe?! Take a cab to Hillcrest Road and come see for yourself. And the behind of my hair does not look like a duck's tail. You know what to do if you want to see right?

Minghui is a good Civics Rep. However, I fear the day when he would run out of blood to vomit when he talks to Andy. Maybe I can lend him some of mine. I believe Andy is a master painter now because he was under the tutelage of Lu Bo. I also think that Andy's brown hair turned white because he was scared out of his SHORTS by Lu Bo countless times. Catholic High people, you all can sign up to exchange uniform with me if you all are interested in wearing pants for uniform. I will provide you with my vital statistics. Those who are shortlisted will never be informed. :p

Now, let's have some H4 Physics...
Yew Seng = Yew X Seng
Eng Ping = Eng X Ping

So far so good? I will now factor in the Christine Constant into the laws.
( Yew Seng ) ^ christine = Yew Peng
( Eng Ping ) ^ christine = Eng Seng

ROXOR...
I think there must be some kind of constant to change the coefficient of Seng into Bhai SENG and Ping into Milo PING. I will wear helmet and groin guard to school on Monday. :)

Oh ya! My class have girls too. I will talk about you all on the next episode of the NJC saga. Hueli OWNS Beethovan please... If only my fingers could dance across those ivory like yours does so effortlessly. Finally, a note to all potential criminals or robber-wannabes... ShaoRong is the Treasurer. You all can rob him, provided he has not spent the money on upgrading taps. Oh my. What a worn-out joke.

GASP! School! How to hold a pen?!

2006-01-02T14:52:00.000+08:00

Idol

The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by I think this test is made for females. But I think it is really cool.

On starting fires and burning dogs

2005-12-22T19:42:00.000+08:00

I went to my first course outing at East Coast Park for a BBQ session. It was not as bad as I thought it would be. (at least until ChinWoo and I nearly lost our way home) We had truckloads of fun, both clean and dirty. I am a morally upright person so I would talk about clean fun first. My syndicate had some kickaround with a soccer ball. I think the game is called one-touch, I do not play much football so I was pretty fascinated by this game. I executed a stunt which even Ronaldhino would be proud of me. It was so malu-ating! I did not eat much because my tummy was fighting a civil war.

The 1st Veggie JunWei was really hyper that evening. Must have been the salad! I tried to tell everyone that the salad was poisonous but no one believed me. Aljufri was boasting of his oh-so-limited-edition KFC apparel and flaunting his KFC experience in BBQ-ing the food. But the last time I checked, they do not serve Otahs and hot dogs in KFC. Which by the way, would be really funny. They would probably come up with some hot-dog meal, with one HUGE hot dog, drink & fries and some funny sauce all justified for $5.95.

It's DIRTY-FUN time.

YongHao is gay. He put mayonaise on my pants. TSKTSKTSK. Luckily I did not bring my marker pens or I will add on to his collection of tatooes. They were so perverse. They actually materialise their fantasies of ''the great mayonsaise hotdogs'' which they have been raving about since the duration of the course. I was just plain fortunate to be beside them during the materialisation of THAT THING.

There were some unhappy incidents but I think overall, I still enjoyed it quite a bit. Yes! I almost forgot. ALL HAIL CHEEYONG. The God of Talking-Cock. He really made the longgggg trip to East Coast Park bearable.

I lost count of the number of entries.

2005-12-13T12:03:00.000+08:00

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN... may I propose a toast to the president of the Republic of Singapore?

This was the highlight of the military dining-in at SAFTI Warrior's Hall which I attended as part of the 50th CLT Course. [ all the 50th HOLLA ] It was a most interesting experience. It shows that military organisations are not merely about the dirt and rough, soldiers are also required to be gentlemen, complete with the entire set of countless cutlery, pull-chair-for-ladies ettiquette. The mood was pretty solemn apart from the guy beside me who got drunk on SPARKLING JUICE. He started toasting to everyone over EVERYTHING.

Ok, enough about half drunks-lunatics. What is a dining-in without the glorious, glorious, ever so delightful FOOD? The food was above average though I would have enjoyed it better if not for the millions of etiquette rules we were bounded to. For example, when it came to the kebab, we had a mini debate on whether to use our hands or the knife and fork. The problem did not last for long, ( so did the kebab ) one of us pointed at the angmoh guest-of-honour who was gleefully ravaging the poor kebabs with his bare fingers.

Also, the NCC concoction, ''One Spirit'', tasted pretty okay, at least in my opinion. Many of my friends thought otherwise, they grimaced with every sip they took, as if it was something Marigold Peel Fresh produced on a day gone wrong. We were also amused by the fact that the banana cordial was green in colour. I think it was not yellow because they used unripe bananas. That was lame.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN... WE PRESENT TO YOU THE 50th BATCH OF CADET LIEUTENANTS!

''Today is our POP...PO...PO. Today is our POP...PO..POP!''

The 50th CLT passing out parade was the climax of the course. I was most honoured to be the valedictorian of our intake but was most 'pissed-in-the-pants' to be the parade commander. We did not have much time to rehearse for the big show but I felt we put on a decently good performance for the amount of time put in. In the parade itself, there was also the segment when loved ones would go to don the ranks of the graduands. YES, I know it was supposed to be the proudest moment in your life and so on. BUT, I nearly died when Dr Arthur Beng attempted to take the CLT ranks from my right pocket. It felt very squirmish. Nonetheless, we were extremely happy to graduate as full-fledged CLTs.

After the POP, we had the post-parade activity where europhia reigned supreme. Everyone was so hyped and excited. The number and frequency of camera flashes were enough to put the most hardcore of paparazzi to shame. We exchanged many handshakes and a few hugs among friends. The atmosphere was fantastic. It was what I had always wanted. I hope that the 50th CLTs can stay this way. At least for as long as we could before we fade back into the rigours of life. Thank you everyone for the wonderful memories.

Kudos to people...

Ernest - my course buddy, very rational and cool. A wonderful guy.
Yong Hao - You just wait, I will have 100 tatooes on my body one day.
The First veggie, JunWei - my super bunk mate who let me use his handphone. Next time, I bake veggie cake for you.
Aljufri - He taught me an invaluable lesson. Try to go to sleep with 2 pairs of underwears and 2 pairs of shorts. A padlock is strongly encouraged too.
Naiyu A.K.A Rachel - Another fabulous guy. Very understanding and cheerful. A great listener too.
Perry - Act anti-social only! A great guy too. Very quiet and discplined.
Lester - A good motivator and the ROUND-ROUND-ROUND guy. Can sing so many songs!

For everyone else who are not on the list. FRET NOT. I treasure you all the same! Once again, I thank you all for the memorable times.

CURTAIN CALL

Maybe psychosis is not curable after all...

2005-11-27T16:44:00.000+08:00

Os are O-ver. However, it does not even feel like 'the end of the road'. CLT CLT CLT. I will survive. Too bad I cannot go to prom with everyone else. Thanks everyone who have RELENTLESSLY asked me to go, I appreciate you making the itch worse.

But then. CLT course is just as fun. We have our own prom too, only that everyone is wearing the same thing and without the glitter and make-up. There is also the funniest Warrant Officer I have ever seen. He never fails to lighten the mood in the course but yet, without compromising his authority.

Now I know fruits are good because they give us vita-min and vita-min gives us morale. YAY!
You can stare people until they melt.
We should not waste food because people in Africa suffer like fish.
Do not name your son Kenny Phua and send him into a CLT course. If you do, your son will suffer like fish. CREAR a not?! Any ques-sions?!

The past few months have been hellish. Stupid Os. Come to think of it (nono... thinking is bad after Os), I don't know how I pulled through it. Pressure=Density X Gravity X Height.
Pressure during the O levels period is high. Therefore the most probable contributing factor must be density. (because my freaking height can never increase)

Density = mass/volume MY MASS INCREASED LAH! I AM FAT.
MOE should slap a health warning on the O levels application form.

50th!

a week's thoughts on a platter

2005-10-31T10:33:00.000+08:00

In recent weeks, it is as though the debenture with Man's signature has come to haunt us all -- dengue fever and the global threat, bird flu. It is as though we are now paying the reparations for the atrocities we committed against Mother Nature over generations. Isn't it interesting how the sheer magnitude of her wrath manifests in the form of something we cannot even see with our eyes?

The Bali bombings and the latest Delhi bombing incident have once again reminded us of the pernicious threat that is terrorism. As a Chinese proverb goes '' loud guns are easy to dodge but hidden arrows are not '', the horror of terrorism lies in its subtle nature and its unpredictability, terrorism is the modern Black Plague; we are aware of its existance but yet, can only stand helpless with its blade by our jagular. To be heterodox is one thing, to slaughter your own brethren is quite another, it appears that terrorists who galvanise themselves with Religion are taking the blood of the very people who belong to the same order as themselves. What deformity of thought they possess?! Terrorism is an act which vitiates the morals and the way of life that orthodox Muslims preach. It is unfortunate that Muslims have become scapegoats of such a horrible abomination in the society.

SEDITION. It is the buzz word in the blogger community currently. Personally, I am relieved that I did not owe anyone money. ( whoever knows me will see the relevance of this statement ) While I feel that action needs to be taken against bloggers lost in a moment of folly, I do not feel that it should take the form of litigation. Although it is true that in the Internet Age, blogs are effective mediums for the spread of malevolent messages, I still feel that those bloggers should not be tried and punished as traitors aim to provoke Singapore into a Maria-Hertogh-esque predicament. Justice should not only be blind. It should have compassion as well. Putting it in words is hard but don't you think something is wrong if teenagers are persecuted as malicious felons?

If you want to preserve the sombre mood of this entry, do not read on.

SCHOOL LIFE

Shannon is sick. In the mind.
It was after Physics Practical Examination and I was waiting for my esteemed Chinese teacher, Mdm Qin Wei Wei to return me the Prelims report slip. Shannon was impatient and retorted my pleas for him to shut up with....

'' Kenny! Why your Qin Wei Wei so long? ''
DING DING... Many people agreed that the statement was grossly phrased.

Zhi Hao told me of his unique interpretation of Bird Flu. He not only should go for Leg-shortening operations. He should get a brain-wash too. As in a car-wash, where you scrub a car clean.

46th Entry

2005-10-06T15:05:00.000+08:00

We account for more than 1/10 of Commonwealth's age. Worship us.
Throughout my 4 years at Commonwealth, there were so many things that have made my education life so colourful.

NCC was probably one of the best things in life that happened to me.

In Part B camp, my MALE platoonmate HOISTED his flag in a toilet full of naked boys. Problem: it wasn't the morning assembly and there was no national anthem.

In a camp I cannot remember which one, my platoonmate and I went inside the Ladies at night and ran out screaming. It involves a certain walkie-talkie and 2 paranoid boys.

On POP night, a certain Japanese cartoon character refused to hand over the farewell gift to Xie Mai. It was well-documented on film.

Many people in my part made NCC life so fun : people like Xie Mai, Theng Loke, Jiajun, Wei Xiang

Look... I have a life outside NCC too!

Orientation: The first asshole I sat beside was Shannon. He would later go on to form the legendary sentence using '' bai nian shu ren ''.

1/1: Somehow, Shannon, me and XieMai love McDonalds and become near-daily patrons of it. They escaped unscathed. I escaped with a significant increase of kilograms.

2/1: Joke of the century-Leonard farted when doing sit-up in PE. Sorry Leonard. I just got to share this. You should eat less onions and beans. I could smell your dinner.

3/4: Toilet cleaner asked me to go into toilet to see a clogged toilet bowl....

IN MANDARIN...

''boy come in see this!''
'' EERRR ''
'' you all ah... so dirty.... auntie difficult to clean ''

What the copulation?! auntie difficult to clean. Kenny easy to clean meh? I was on my way to recess lah! Just for the record, we did a matrix movie dub on it. Sorry Mrs Magaret Loh, I know crap and A mathematics do not go well with you. HEH!

I promise I will tell no one what Lu zhou said of Mrs Loh and her son.

4/4: I think Dinesh wanted to have sex with me. He bit his lips and dillated his eyes at me. Okay, I reciprocated but something tells me Dinesh makes the WORST gay partner. Sriram made name cards for himself and his ''business associates''. I am going to be a billionaire and absorb his company in 1 month's time.

WeiJun's cock theories are hilarious. In WeiJun's world... if you are not a honourable gentleman and you got a weenie... you must be a small kid ( bu shi jun zi ... jiu shi xiao hai zi )

Lu Zhou told me of his love for marshmellows and Zhihao should go to China for leg shortening operation.

GRADUATION?!

i almost forgot about the O levels... sigh.. copulate the Olevel's female parent's posterior lahh!

Did you guys know... That Kenny Phua listens to opera?

2005-09-26T14:22:00.000+08:00

Rachel says:
WTF
Rachel says:
FUCKIN OPERA
Rachel says:
wah shit
Rachel says:
it sounds horrible
Kenny says:
WAH LAO
Kenny says:
its nice ok
Rachel says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Rachel says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Rachel says:
oh god.
Rachel says:
you officially made my day.
Kenny says:
huh???!!!!
Kenny says:
WHY?????!!
Rachel says:
hahahaha
Rachel says:
coz of the opera song
Kenny says:
HEYYYY
Kenny says:
U EVIL BITCH
Kenny says:
its nice ok
Kenny says:
come on
Kenny says:
sae it with me
Rachel says:
nooooooooo
Kenny says:
it's nice
Rachel says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA
Rachel says:
YOU'RE SUCH A LOSER
Rachel says:
HAHA
Rachel says:
DO UR NCC JUNIORS KNOW YOU LISTEN TO OPERA?
Rachel says:
HUH?
Rachel says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Kenny says:
nope
Kenny says:
but its ok wat
Kenny says:
not as if its some barney retarded shit
Rachel says:
hahahahaha
Rachel says:
fuckin funny
Kenny says:
WAH LAO
Kenny says:
its supposed to be a tribute to frenship ok
Kenny says:
U unappreciative witch
Rachel says:
HAHAHA

I SOOOOOO bet you guys didn't know that!
So cute right??? Our little Kenny listens to opera!!!
Hi. I'm Rachel. Remember me? I was from CSS class of 2001.
Kenny passed me his password coz I was helping him edit some template stuff, but I decided to abuse my power and unveil the truths about Kenny.

No lah. Just the fact that he listens to opera. We were talking on MSN and he sent me this song written by Andrew Llyod Webber. Some opera song.
As shown in the excerpt of our MSN conversation above, I was having a ball of a time teasing him about his closet liking of (of ALL THINGS) opera.
Like, wtf?!
Can you guys imagine little Kenny sitting infront of the computer listening to...
Opera?
Of course, this simply proves that our Kenny is such a cultured person with such a good command of the English language- I believe if he doesn't screw up his O's (like get chicken pox in the middle of the exam or something) he'd get an A1 for English for sure. And when he goes to JC? I bet he's gonna ace his GP. Check out his anti-religion arguments in the archives man! Hella solid shit!

Lalalalaaaa... Did you guys know that Kenny said he'd buy me a birthday present last year and I chose a bikini? MUAHAHAHAHA how scandalous right?
KENNY I WANT A BIKINI THIS YEAR TOOOOO! I'M DAMNNNNN BROKE!
Actually he didn't really buy buy me the bikini. He just paid for majority of it and I paid like twenty bucks coz I chose a Ripcurl one. Heh.

Kenny, you're the cutest and most anal old queen I have ever met and I love you a lot.
Please do well for your O's (which I seriously believe you would) and go to a top JC!
I forgive you for ignoring me when you're having NCC training (because you're not supposed to but I don't understand why you can't since you were the CSM) and I forgive you for calling me a bitch, witch, asshole, and the many other expletives you've used on me.
I am such a generous person aren't I?
Just...

Don't kill me when you've read this!

Actually. I can already imagine the look of horror engulfing your chiselled features.
GAHHHHHHH!!!!!

*runs away*

I HOPE BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS ENTRY THE REST OF THE WORLD WOULD HAVE TOO!!!!

Neni neni pooooo POOO!!!!

Disclaimer: This is not an invasion of privacy or breech of trust ok!
I'm like, praising you (albeit after much truth revealing) so you better be grateful!!!!

Toodles!

drum roll 45th Entry! spell it. FOUR TEE FIVE.

2005-09-10T05:24:00.000+08:00

Once upon a time, there was a boy who lived a lightning-esque life. His surroundings were all but a blur to him and he liked it that way.

One day, he chanced upon a text.

Yes; I can see infinity in that word.
If I could, my gift would be a serenade.
So I can at least come close to telling her
How dear and precious her mere existence is to me.
If Love is fatalistic, then I would gladly submit.
Understand that this might be corny.
Albeit her petite frame,
No doubt she took the vacant sign off my heart.

And the boy never looked back since.

Thank you for being an inspiration to me. :)

44.6th Entry

2005-08-21T15:01:00.000+08:00

Xie Mai: Bloody shortie. Just give it to me lah!
DoraeOng: As if I am going to...

19th August.
Is it a release or a painful night which I am adamant not to admit that it affected me? I am not very sure.

To Our Legacy,

The school flag must fly beyond our parade square. It longs to dance on the stage of honour and glory. I hope this is explicit enough.
To my foolish little juniors, I hope the bond remains watertight. I have been longing to say this for a really long time - the higher you climb, the less friends you will have.

You all must understand this point or you will be walking in our paths. NCC is nothing without friends. Glory is naught if you cannot share it. I hope you all love one another like your own underwear!

Anyway, I have a confession to make. Please swear that you all would not kill anyone in school after this...

PROMISE me you would at least conceal that chopper properly.

Actually it was not that HQNCC hates our guts and make all of you go to Phase3. All of you were supposed to go to Phase 1 and 2. It is just that someone forgot to ask you to go for the briefing for both the phases. OOPPS?

Kenny.

44.5th Entry - when i write POYAM... u better sit in ur underwear n listen

2005-08-14T11:19:00.000+08:00

Perfume or what?

The label on the bottle said,
A vibrant mix of zesty lemons
And incredible roses.
Coupled with an exorbitant portion of pollyanaish sunflowers.
Oh, don't you forget the elegant lilies!

Leave not in the dark,
It warned in tempestuous red.
For I harbour an untold wealth
Of Olfactory goodness!
I promise you bliss unheard even in Shangri-La.

For the coming nights,
The seraphic fluid kissed my skin
And whispered to me sweet nothings, almost a little saccharine.
I thought I was more than mortal,
For even butterflies vie for my attention.

Then one cursed night, as I await entry into heavens again,
To my most profound horror,
She was no more, NO! Not even a single drop of her!
Shaking the bottle vehemently did not help,
She did not heed my call. I don't think she wants to.

FortyFourth Entry - to girl (die! you mothercopulating female mutt)

2005-08-01T10:23:00.000+08:00

Everyone loves a detractor.

WOAH WOAH WOAH... I totally agree that Kenny sucks totally because he brags about his adventures (and misadventures) and experiences at the NCC Day Parade rehearsals. He is probably terribly megalomaniac because he makes it a point to tell everyone what were the mistakes that he made during the rehearsals even he is already so darn good. Who can stand before his relentless gasconade on his important appointment in the parade?! All he probably knows is to swash and vaunt, he has no substance, much less the ability to discourse about Drills and Commands.

That was probably what the tagger, 'girl', meant. However, due to an evident lack of proficiency in the English language and a glaringly obvious limited repertoire of lexicon, 'girl' only managed an utmost pathetic 'drills and commands are your best? I think bragging is your best.'

I just love detractors! Don't everyone do?! They put themselves on self-constructed pedestals just for people to knock them down. In that very instant of overwhelmingly bitter defeat, their supposed superiority derived from their senseless comments always seem to disappear. I am surprised at this phenomenon.

Since, 'girl' would probably be dropping by to check if I have kicked her ass yet, I should probably fulfill my responsibilty as a student of the English Language and teach her the finer points of writing.

Basically, from the very first paragraph up till here, if done away with all the ostentatious words (I mean big words, you weenie), it means: You are just a green eyed frog and I sniggered at your pathetic attempt to even put a scratch on my armour. I was not being 'braggy kenny' and there was absolutely no necessity to defame me. Now, you are going to make yourself look really stupid and insensitive.

Of course, I sweared to liar jesus that I have tried my very best to make things really simple for you. I hope you can squeeze whatever intelligence that resides in that pea of a brain to comprehend whatever I am about to write.

First of all, this issue probably started with my 42nd entry where I was whining about my bad day at a rehearsal. I even took the social responsibility to post a health warning prior to that entry. Then again, we all know that morons walk amongst us and one of them read that entry and went gaga and subsequently posted a defamatory tag message.

1)There is absolutely nothing wrong with me saying that my drills and commands are my best areas as a cadet.

'Drills and commands were supposed to be my forte. :(' - 42nd entry

'girl' probably misinterpreted it as 'I am the best in drills and commands'. It is completely understandable that a being of lower intellect made a mistake. If what 'girl' commented was true, then everyone should stop proclaiming that they are good at anything because if we do, we can be assured that 'girl' would be there in a jiffy and deal a low-blow to us with things like 'u bragger', 'hahaha.I rawk', 'I bet you suck'

Drills and commands are indeed the aspects of NCC life that I love most and which I take painstaking effort to hone. It does not matter if you agree a not, I am merely sharing with everybody what I am good at. Should you think you are better, why don't you prove it? BUT... I would advise against it, 'girl'. A person with such lousy comprehension abilities would probably not fare well. Here is a quote for you from an Eminem track:

You motherF*cker can never do it like I can do it. Don't even try to look stupid. Do not pursue it.

2)There is no logic behind the assumption that I am an arrogant person merely because I talked about my Parade RSM appointment in the parade. Readers know that this appointment did not come easy, it came through much heartache and stress. With the high sensitivity attached to it because of my fellow supernumeraries, I would never, given any circumstances, use it as a weapon or tool to show off my abilities. I have enough respect for the sacredness of the mission to not abuse it.

3)My concerns over my extremely poor performance during that rehearsal were definitely genuine. I cannot stand imperfection in something which I am so passionate about. It will be very wrong and rude to accuse me of being pretentious and kitsch. No one likes to disappoint in a position where he or she is expected to perform. IF you think that my display was perfectly fine, that is your problem. I guess I have higher standards than you, 'girl'.

Should you be a member of the NCC, then you are a disgrace to the organisation whose creed is to excel and perform. In any case, I do not think I need to define 'mothercopulating', do I, 'girl'?

an urgent interruption: PROPAGANDA MESSAGE

2005-07-25T12:34:00.000+08:00

To The Sons of The Great Union

CSSNCC is in a crisis. Yet, I cannot do anything to help. It is during these times that morale must be kept up. Now, hopes and wishes cannot be accomodated given the pressing situation in the great uniion. There is no place for optimism. We all have to accept that the cogwheels of the unit will soon be grinding on no more.

WE cannot be tame. The unit is ours. Not theirs. The time for the baptism of fire has arrived. Rebel against the system and rage against tyranny! Unwise and incompetent leaders deserve not the gift of courtesy.

Invoke the might of people's power. Crush the authority if it fails to deliver and kill the culture of sloth that is so evident in it. Tip the scales in their disfavour and smash the limits which define extremeties. Because we are not mere soldiers, WE are warriors who fight for our beliefs and glory. Eliminate whoever stands in the way. He is just another obstacle.

The tired man.

FortyThird - 43 + 61 = 104

2005-07-20T13:34:00.000+08:00

The 17th of July 2005 was the NCC Day Parade 2005. With this final salvo, it marks the end of my NCC cadet journey and the conclusion of an illustrous chapter in my life.

I feel a tinge of regret deep down when I heard the overwhelming crowd cheer for their schools with great enthusiasm and europhia. I wanted people to feel proud of me. It was as though no one took notice of me. My passion and love are unrequited.

However, the joy of being on parade definitely drowned out the negative feelings. Being part of a massive co-ordinated effort made the experience especially memorable and sweet. The supernumeraries gave the parade a touch of uniqueness and the enjoyable times we had together topped it off.

I love watching the colours dance in the air. It looked like an emblazoned sea with colourful waves. Such gentle and graceful movements one moment and emphatic ones the other which are characterised by the spirits and values the flags represent.

I want to thank everyone who made this parade possible and for being part of this majestic display. Kudos especially to RSM NCC, DSO Mathi, Khai, Hidayat, Iman, Kent, Izzat and Jennifer. It was a job well done.

FortySecond Entry - Bahaya Jangan Dekat

2005-07-03T12:06:00.000+08:00

WARNING: Readers are advised to skip this entry because I am going to whine; kenny-whining = health hazard. I am so dead beat that I am not going to bother to beautify this entry with English magic.

2nd July. NCC Day Parade 2005 rehearsal @ SAFTI MI

I was relieved that I did not faint at the rehearsal today. I was nursing an extremely bad cold and a throbbing headache definitely did not help much. Worst of all, I developed a sore throat from the cold. I was very afraid that I would disappoint today and thus, I bought Strepsils which probably did not help much because my itchy jaws just could not resist munching them and swallowing them after 5 minutes.

Then again, I committed a few bloopers today.

1)I was MIA during a component training session because I was in the stupid toilet 7381236812361823123123 kilometres away. I think I drank too much water in an attempt to relieve my sore throat.

- Warrant Mathi bullied me.

2)I screwed up the command 'Kawalan Ke-Hormatan Pandang Ke-Hadapan Pandang'. Maybe the cold screwed up my neurological circuits. I think I disappointed RSM a lot. Drills and commands were supposed to be my forte. :(

After the rehearsal, my legs completely shut down probably because of an overload of latic acid. I sat on the ground at SAFTI immobilised for a while while taking off my pants. Then a few girls had to barge into the room and shot me weird looks. ( I wore PE shorts inside )

My backbone hurts a lot because it was compressed for a long time. The previous sword belt was much comfortable. I was struggling to even stand upright.

Though I performed badly in this rehearsal, there was still some things that brightened up my day. I gave my friend a 1 dollar coin. And I made friends with more supernumeraries. I also NEARLY molested someone. It was totally not my fault, the female CLT came and talk to me, forgetting that I must 'about-turn'. As a result, my pacestick shoe missed her boobs by milli-micrometres. We all had a brief laugh about it which was good because the cold was starting to piss me off.

Somehow, even though the rehearsal was a bad experience for me, it did seem enjoyable. Maybe this is what they call the price of pride and honour.

FortyFirst Entry - loving white red blue

2005-06-24T05:01:00.000+08:00

Dedicated to Elites Of The Parade Square

I have learnt much during this fleeting June holidays. Supernumerary lectures have gifted me with a fresh perspective on the true mission and meaning of National Cadet Corps. I discovered that I lacked the mettle and abilities of a true leader. I must admit that my period of office at the helm of the school unit had been very much a waste.

I also experienced the realism of competition in NCC. Sometimes, our desires just slip through our fingers and it hurts a lot. It is perfectly fine to feel disappointed and discouraged because it is excruciatingly painful to lose in the band we love so much.

What is most important that we take a step backwards and look at the larger picture. Then we would appreciate our own significance, no matter the size, in the mission. If we can do that, then loss can be graceful. I have learnt much from the sensitivity my friends had shown. Though unsure of my ability to replicate it, at least now I fully understand the phrase:

AIM HIGH BECAUSE IF YOU FALL, YOU WILL LAND ON THE CLOUDS.

NCC Day Parade is our common mission and we will do all in our capabilities to honour the birthday of the WORLD's GREATEST CCA, because it is no longer a choice but the duty of members of the elites of the parade square. May Supernumeraries reign supreme. Infinite thanks.

40.5th Entry

2005-06-14T13:23:00.000+08:00

To: Donkey

You are such a phamtom. I cannot keep up with you. So fast. So severe. So aggressive. I am totally lost for words. I was chewed up and spat out. There are just so much you do not understand about me. I am not what you perceived to be and I will never be that person. You have forgotten who I truly am. I am sorry.

Big Fourtieth Entry - Love Singapore

2005-06-12T03:58:00.000+08:00

Dear TY,

I was overjoyed when I heard that you were on the same frequency with me on the evils of Christanity. However, I am utmost regretful to know that you have veered to the blind path. I also understand that you had joined the legion of City Harvest. Now, no no, I am not putting your church down. Do not be mistaken. I am going to burn it down. Then again, maybe I cannot, ( WINK** RUI MING, we kick ass ) because the church is made of titanium. It might have been possible that such a sturdy and EXPENSIVE material has been chosen for the church because the great pastors, who annoint people, had forseen that one day, the church might suffer an atomic bomb attack due to repercussions of its cult-like teachings and culture.

If you will, please graciously explain to me the necessity of building a multi-million dollar fountain and a extravagrant auditorium with the church! I am sure the obscene amount of money could have been better ultilised to improve the lives of others, rather that to build a glorious house of God.

If that is true, isn't that tantamount to implying that Christanity is a faith exclusive to the well-off? Please enlighten me, Oh glorius CHILD. You are a miracle of God. Salvage my God-deprived shell and pray for me!

My point is simple. Even if a 'house of God' must be built, need so much money be spent? What are the benefits? After all, Christians are simply blind mice seeking something which is not there. You certainly do not need such an absurdly-grand church to beautify and glorify your blind actions.

Christanity started with the death of Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ WAS a mortal who was born in the land of Nazerath and walked the Earth. I completely accept the fact that he died on the crucifix but I find it extremely hilarious that millions of people alike you, believe that he rose from the dead.

WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW

That was why I called Christians 'aliens' because they believe in resurrection of a dead human-being. Then again, they would rebuke me by proclaiming that he was 'the Son of God'. At this point, please forgive me while I climbed back to the chair from which I fell off in laughter! The resurrection of Humans would indeed be a valuable entry in medical journals.

TY, I hope that you do not indulge in the unholy act of masturbation. Since you know how to speak and pray in TONGUES, you are supposed to be able to resist one of the evils stated in the teachings of Christ. ashduawauhsd ioashduw asjdiwjals aiosdjwansd. OOPS. Sorry. Back to human language. I am sure you do not even now what is masturbation. Right? I am so sorry I tainted your Holy Brain.

I also hope that you realised how you made a fool out of yourself by attempting to heal the physically handicapped using the glory of GOD. Okay, let me bestow to you a Gargantuan task...

Look, Dr TY, I am uuuhhh... sick... in the mind. I... arghhh... have no GOD... I think I just... killed him... Can you... make me BELIEVE ? Can you..?

I really hope that your healing crusade can convert me to become a Christian. Show me your miracles and I will believe. I am not unreasonable. Pray for me! Sing for me! Induct the strength of Christ upon me! Change me!

By the end of this letter, I hoped you realise that your life is really screwed up even with God in it. You know what I mean. *** How's school? I'm sure Jesus helped you in your examinations. Didn't he? ***

From Kenny with lots of Hugs and Kisses

[plus a shotgun]

ThirtyNinth Entry

2005-06-06T13:00:00.000+08:00

I am not a holy person. I am a person of truth.
I do not sin. I merely err and that is human.
I have space for love and grace. I have no space for lies.
I have bitterness and hatred. Everyone does.
I love humanity. He who mars it is my enemy. And humanity's enemy.
I am arrogant. I am not a hypocrite or an egoist.

If your might really sees no bounds and you represent goodness and life, THEN SHOW ME YOUR MIRACLE AND CONVERT ME.

If you really exist and you love me, THEN LET YOUR STRENGTH AND BLOOD FLOW IN ME AND I WOULD BE YOUR MOST HUMBLE SON.

Show me what you claim and I will kneel and beg for your existence in my life.

Otherwise, bring your minions and acolytes away to your land. As promised, make them transcend this world and place of which you portray to be painful and sinful. True humans do not need sons and daughters of Christ to taint this world which I see to be beautiful.

If Christians are pained to live in this world, why should they tolerate it and conform to it? Leave before your ripples of lies and perverse prevarications touch our shores!

I reek of hatred only because of anger. But. It is righteous anger. Praise the Lord and kiss your God, in the end, you would attain superficial love. There is no eternal life, which by the way, would be torturous. I am angry at the state of intellectual degradation and blindness of people. Or aliens.

Christians are not human. They are but a mirage. They are the downfall of the wonderful dynasty of humanity.

I live not in darkness but in light. I have no blindfold and no shackles. I see what is there and condemn felonious acts against humanity. Stop your guilt game and your monopoly of the world!

If YOU want to become my foe. Then shall be it, I am human. Humans cannot co-exist with children of lies.

I am very disappointed in you.

ThirtyEighth Entry : 3 8 kenny

2005-05-30T14:10:00.000+08:00

Look At The Ceiling

Here I am, engulfed in elegant piano melody, suddenly home feels good and I feel at peace with myself. I am strolling to the tinkles of the melody. When I close my eyes, I see green pastures and lazy clouds. A wonderful scent lingers and feels me like a soft and gentle lady hand. How I wish I am not a mismatch in the portrait. Look at the ceiling and you can see wonders. Let your imagination spill over and allow your mind to run free. Smash the shackles. Snap the chains. Break the cage. You need to be dead in reality once in a while because the manifestation is sneaking here, it is whispering to me, with every word He speaks, passion infects me and strength fills me. The voice grew louder and louder but no one else apart from me can hear it. Because I am special, like He is to me, I am His only mate.

''Come closer. Oh lovely boy, why are your eyes lifeless, and your face sullen? You must be really unhappy. The world has abandoned you, tossed you, and shoved you aside! Transcend the facade of multicoloured seas, they are too bright and gaudy for the beloved son. Your home is not here. Come to me and I shall call unto your true desired origin. Because you LIVED in dreams and they have forsaken this place!'', the voice whispered. It is ticklish.

I crossed the chasm. On the other side, there is no one. A tinge of relief surged through me.

''Peel off that heavy coat! Let your feet be tinct by the soils of the land! Throw away your love! Because you are are just another drop in the ocean, fret not over your significance as you are the person I truly endear. Snuggle up to my embrace and sob the equivalent of all the years that I left you. Rejoice and celebrate because arnarchy, religion and techniclour hopes and hypocrisy have retreated. Come run tirelessly in the lands. Run, run , run because passion and mania are your senses and we are more than mortals already. Jump, jump, jump because there is no roof and you wish for freedom. Sing, sing, sing because the lands need your song and the beasts hate goodness.'', He spoke with such cacoethes that it almost seems like he is raged.

But I know He loves me. That is more than satisfactory. I have no God and I only have a silvered mirror.

ThirtySeventh Entry

2005-05-28T14:29:00.000+08:00

On Male Pig Chauvinists and Female Bitch Chauvinists

Far too many times, I have heard silly pathetic women fretting over insensitive men who 'possess zero gentlemanly qualities'. These women even dare slapped the label 'Male Pig Chauvinist' on men! I find this extremely hilarious because this particular senseless and narrow-minded set of actions just ask for more discrimination of women.

A women commented that this is how men speak:

KNN CCB. WHY ARSENAL LOST?! DIAM LAH. Wah lao. So worked up for what?!

I supposed that she is trying to prove her point that men are generally uncouth in speech and possibly worse in their social interaction skills.

In response to this statement and misconception (also to stand up for my kind), I hereby bestow the title 'Female Bitch Chauvinist' on the fairer gender.

You see, my reactions are certainly justified. Before I carry on further, let us find out the definition of 'Chauvinist'.

Chauvinist: A person with a prejudiced belief in the superiority of his or her own kind

Everyday, subliminal messages are propagated from the women's mouths that men suck and women is actually being more 'human'. How many times have we heard women complaining about men not opening the car door, about men hogging the remote control and about men being tactless in speech?

Are women taking for granted that they should be the privileged half of the human race and that men should handle all the filthy work to serve the bitches. Um. Ladies? If this is so, then woman activist groups should cease to exist. They are self contradictory. They shed blood and sweat to push for greater female rights but simulataneously, they are expecting to be treated as the ones to be rightfully treated with care. This is totally absurd.

Also, I find it absolutely disturbing that women in certain parts of the world are campaigning for greater female equality; they want to be treated equally as men. This can never be true. Everyone knows that women are not prepared to handle laborious work because women are proven to be physically weaker than men. It is absolutely amazing how these activists have the audacity to ask for something that they are not entitled to have, or rather, do not have the capactiy to possess.

It is like stealing a chocolate bar from a store and expecting the cashier to help you unwrap the chocolate bar. (especially so if the thief is a female and the cashier is a male) It simply does not make sense.

Unless one day, aliens drop a huge electromagneticradioactivecrazyneutron-i-dunnoe-what-the-hell-this-is bomb on planet Earth, and women developed weenees and men's weenees got shrunk into a hole, then hocus pocus, tabloids will start reporting that women are gang-raping men. That is when you bitches. Um. Ladies, come in to fight for your rights.

Women are asking for men to disrespect them. If they want to even try stand up for themselves, maybe they should stop discriminating men in the first place. To hell with it if you are a female reader.

ThritySixth Entry

2005-05-15T14:47:00.000+08:00

Kenny-ism

I am the founder of this religion. After a painstaking and almost life-threatening 10 mintues of philosophical mumbo-jumbo, I realise that my religion is the supreme one.
Because Lord Kenny is great, he knows that you are wearing underwear while reading this.

Because Lord Kenny is omnipotent, he is everywhere, even in your parents' bedroom when the most intense activities are happening.

Because Lord Kenny is loving, he loves and will save you even though you look like an utterly smack-able bloody child of Chr**t, however, despite his boundless grace and love, he condemns all who do not believe in him.

Because Lord Kenny died to atone for our sins, you must believe in him or he would have died hanging on the cross for nothing.

In the name of Lord Kenny, I pray for your path out of sin and darkness and into the eternal embrace of the one and only Lord Kenny. Anus. I meant Amen, you sonafabitch.

Lord Kenny speaks.
But wait.

Are you a Hindu? Are you a disciple of Buddha? I hate Allah! Listen up humans. I am your ONLY god, Allah, Buddha, Hindu Gods whose names I gave up to pronounce and all the other Ali Babas are blasphemous, they are fake. I am the only god. Fuck you if you are not a Christian, you shall not get my love. Nonetheless, suckers still think that my grace sees no borders. ba-ha-ha.

** adjusts underwear **

I still remember the day I died. I was in the market telling everyone that I am the Lord when these 2 motherfucking palace guards arrested me. I suspect discrimination was in play. They pointed their middle fingers at me. I tried to do the same but I could not; I have only 4 fingers! Seething anger and mindless rage shot through my blood. I tried to say, 'To hell with your Mommy', but they did not understand. I was speaking in tongues.

I must have been blabbering for such a long time because the next moment, I found myself hanging on a cross wearing nothing but a loincloth. I did not feel afraid but I felt kind of sexy. With the seemingly vastless sea of onlookers below me, I wonder if anyone took an upskirt photo of me with their camera phone! ** blushes **

Then, I died.

** profanities have been censored because Lord Kenny is supposed to be pure and holy **

I do not understand why they make such a big fuss out of my death. I probably died of europhia or from a heart attack induced by an overdose of viagra. Humans actually think that I died for them. They should know that fate is in their hands, not mine.

Spiritual suckers, Kennyists, listen up and well. I command you to go on a crusade to spread my existence and strengthen the army of spiritual suckers. Go on, sons and daughters, fill every corner of the Earth, let my lies blind them and my ideas delude them, the power of the Lord resides in you. Just remember to fart discreetly, you never know that you are leaking the very precious power I endowed you with.

Hey you, looking at the screen, you are a spiritual sucker too right? Why aren't you moving?

ThirtyFifth Entry

2005-05-08T15:31:00.000+08:00

Has anyone ever dreamt of a literary work that exudes such strength and truly embodies the grandeur and inspiration that have seen ceaseless and tireless waves of writers and thinkers spend their lives trying to emulate; words that fleet in one's soul and dance in his mind, an unearthly potion of grace hinting a tinge of steel that intoxicates one yet bestowing upon him temper and rage that arise from his weak flesh and obstinate blood. He wishes to change the world.

The people will understand and love. It will defeat all that are blasphemous and false. It will serve as the gospel for the world, even the illiterate, blind and dumb, because its influence knows no bounds. The author must be a mortal because all are able to find comfort and solace in his talent. It is not a divine gift but one of the person who will rise from the blood and grime to piece the puzzle of words in such a way as though they are gifted with a breath of life.

An arrangement so enlightening that it makes one want to die to escape the sudden manifest instruction. Man thinks that death is the solution. It just might be true.

ThirtyFourth Entry

2005-05-06T10:03:00.000+08:00

The tip of my knife is dripping with cold hatred. My blood is seething with excitement characterised by hot passion. Such cacoethes in your eyes yet your bosom feels lukewarm. I must verify your love for me. Maybe a marriage of the knife and your flesh will gift me pleasure and rejuvenate me once more.

Speaking in riddles pisses people off. Using big words WRONGLY and INAPPROPRAITELY makes you liable to slaps. People should stop wallowing in self-pity after lost love and quit consoling themselves.

ThirtyThird Entry

2005-05-02T14:24:00.000+08:00

'The best lack all convictions and the worst are full of passionate intensity'~ The Second Coming by W.B Yeats

Insist on delusive beliefs and punishment will be upon you.

I watched a fantastic movie titled 'I Am Sam' starring Sean Penn, Dakota Fanning and Michelle Pfeiffer. It was released in 2001.

The movie is about a mentally-challenged father, Sam Dawson (Sean Penn), who is seperated from her 8-year old daughter, Lucy (Dakota Fanning), by order of the court because it is believed that a father whose daughter has supassed him intellectually, is unable to raise a child and will thus compromise the little girl's future.

Rita Harrison (Michelle Pfeiffer), a high flying attorney, then comes into the picture to help Sam and Lucy fight the system and push for their union. She makes a unlikely duo with Sam because Rita is a powerful and wealthy lady while Sam cannot even count properly. Yet, a powerful bond characterised by unconditional love fused between them.

Though both Rita and Sam cannot be further apart seemingly, they are really similar in certain aspects. Rita is an obsessive perfectionist whose aggresive drive has alienated her from her son. Though sporting a healthy exterior, she is really just as helpless as Sam on the inside. That is why she can relate to Sam so well.

Don't you find it how amazing a parent's love is? Can the gift of love be measured by a person's intellectual capactity? This movie slams the society's stereotype of love; that love can only be given by a person who can think. A great movie that really warms my heart.

ThirtyThird Entry

2005-04-29T13:08:00.000+08:00

In case many of you are wondering what has happened to the thrity-first entry, I thought that 31 is a really unlucky number because it is the inverse of the 13.

On Judgements and Labels

I was with my friends on the bus when I spotted another Secondary 4 NCC cadet from another school. I recognised him but did not know him well, therefore, I did not bother to greet him hello. I hate being in awkward situations. My friends and I were happily indulging in the greatest evils of Man -- gossiping, when the guy from another school abruptly asked me whether I am the overall best cadet from the Senior Specialist Course. I meekly nodded my head and gave a polite smile before returning to my conversations with my friends. I think my friends were quite pissed at the most tactless and unnecessary interruption.

Now, that guy did something which was quite offensive to me. He turned to his schoolmate and told him of my 'overall best cadet' award and I could hear their discussions pretty clearly. Though he probably meant no harm to me and was likely unaware of my circumstances and personality, I cannot help but feel slightly piqued by his foremost identification of me.

I do not like people, especially from NCC, to refer to me as the 'overally best cadet guy from Commonwealth'. I simply do not feel comfortable with this fame or perhaps even notoriety. I want people to know me as a outstanding cadet who loves NCC and puts in his utmost efforts in his CCA, and not slap a label on me. Somehow, the feel-good factor of bagging that prestigious award has died off due to such over-zealous hoo-hah around IT. (not me) It is such a pity that people cannot understand that the award does not mean the world to my NCC career, but merely acts as a confirmation of my abilities, and I certainly do not need anyone to constantly breathing down my back, judging my abilities.

The unimportant award has brought me quite a bit of inconveniences. There are many morons who are probably jealous of me and thus constantly using my award as an excuse to justify their unrealistic expectations of me.

Moron: Kenny... How can like that?! You overall best cadet leh.
Kenny: FUCK OFF!
Moron: Win liao lor... Overall best cadet big shot liao!

The above excerpt is a true dialouge. I am terribly regretful to tell you that the motherfucker who says (not said) this, is very much alive and kicking. I cannot believe that someone who had slogged through 4 years of NCC life with me, has the audacity and an alarming lack of tact to say this. I am very disappointed.

I am not superhuman. My name is not Mr Best Cadet. I do not need you to remind me of the heavy responsibility I carry. Face it, puny idiots. If you are not as good as me, how can you possibly judge me and expect something of me. Thank you very much, my abilities speak for myself, not my award.

p.s.
By the way, how people address you is not really fucking important. I will not make life hell for someone who calls me Sergeant anyway. Why would you mind so much?

ThirtySecond Entry

2005-04-27T14:09:00.000+08:00

I'm Lovin It

It has been almost 2 weeks since I left the love of my life. She taught me many valuable lessons in life and nurtured me both mentally and physically. It seems like I met her just yesterday. Today, I look at her lovingly and felt a tinge of nostalgia, at the same time, a bit of sadness that I have to leave her though we love each other mutually. She had grown much indeed.

My love of my life is NCC.

I can still remember my secondary one NCC life. Come to think of it, I am rather ashamed of my attitude towards NCC during the early years. I did not completely appreciate the pains of leadership and the value of respect. NCC, to me WAS all about authority and ranks, to make things worse, I had the audacious thought that I would be able to attain the USM post without much hard work since I was special.

Fortunately and rather ironcially, my arrogance was my saving grace. There was a particular training when my Platoon Commander commended my friend for his efforts in ensuring that his uniform is starched and in high standards. I look down in shame because I knew that I had not put in any effort to iron my uniform, less starch it. However, I did not like to lose! I relished the amount of awe that he would command if he was praised.

From then on, I made sure that I have the best starched uniform in the entire platoon or possibly the company. Never mind that I have to spend painfully montonous hours going through the rigourous motion of starching and ironing my uniform. To me, winning was much more important.

However, I could not possibly be the person I am today, if not for a certain individual and the words he articulated that carried such weight. It was a sweltering hot Saturday morning. We were instructed to lay out our uniform in the bunk for inspection.

The incumbent Sergeant Major Chun Keong then held his file in front of me and said to me, 'Work hard and one day, this file will belong to you.'

I was momentarily stunned and my heart was fluttering with utmost glee and joy. I was recognised. It was a calling for me. I told myself that I will make it to the very top no matter the circumstances and difficulties. One might brush that statement off as words of motivation and encouragement but I regarded it as a responsiblity from that day onwards. The rest is history.

I discovered the essence of NCC and learnt to respect everything about it. Often, I felt fustrated by many people's lack of understanding why I put so much effort into NCC. The more they question me, the more they grew further from me. I did not want to tell them the true rationale because they would not be able to understand me anyway.

Much of my secondary one life was spent, trying to impress my superiors. I wanted to be the top dog so much that I even formulated a list of potential rivals and I pushed myself to outshine them. I was ruthless but I find solace and comfort in stepping towards my goal whenever I questioned the right and wrongs of my actions.

Therefore, the real phase which really segregated me from my peers and moulded my future was in secondary one. I learnt to love drills and parades when many of my mates found them a pain in the ass. I scoured for opportunities to lead when the going gets tough. I wanted to be the undisputed and unrivalled candidate for the top position.

However, I was not hungry for power and I did not treat my mates badly. As far as possible, I displayed an air of humility and relegated jobs to them if they were up for it. I did not vie for the top spot merely for the lure of fame and power. I had my own set of ideals for the unit and I wanted to fit my ideals into the unit. I never believed in the power of authority. I learnt to understand that in Part A. Ranks are merely devices of convenience. They enable you to carry out things with more ease. The true power comes from self and the true respect can only be obtained if one has a good personality.

I may have fame and honour for my accolades but it is only near the end that I looked at my friends from other schools and ask myself whether I have truly suceeded in NCC.

Thirtieth Entry

2005-04-20T13:03:00.000+08:00

The Prince is my King and The Lord Grieves

'You make your own assumptions about things without considering my ideas and capabilities, and now you lay there rebuked and defeated.'

The purpose of this entry is to clear up any misunderstandings the readers HAVE with my ideas and opinions.

To people who have asked me to stop denouncing religions and kicking Christanity's butt in my entries, I am not going to just substantiate my rationale for doing so by re-establishing my freedom to write, I am also going to tell you why I wish that all religions were dead, particularly Christanity.

By the way, I think that Satanism should be dead too. I do not hail the prince. In case, you think I do, you must be
1)really bad at comprehension because I slammed Satanism before the commandments
2)really desperate at getting a shot at me and you could not find solid and substantial evidence to shield your faith from my flak

3)an idiot. SATANISM IS A RELIGION AND IS CLASSIFIED UNDER FAITHS TOO.

By the way, I am using the commandments merely to wake you Bible-fed ignoramus. I do not believe in it.

The Commandments of Satanism

Before I educate your sorry Christian asses about the commandments, I believe that I should clear up the air about Satanism. Many people stereotyped Satanism as a dark and evil worship where goats are sacrificed, little children are killed and Bible pages are used as toilet paper.

DING DONG***!!!!

This is totally false. In fact, there is no proof of the existence of underground Satanic societies where such rituals are done. Satanism is similar to Christanity. People nowadays identify Satan as The Evil One all because of Christians who have spread their tentacles all over the world, sending them spiralling through a world of absurd spiritual pipe dreams.

Satan is like God to Satanists; God is God to Christians. There is no evil and righteousness; no right and wrong; no white and black. It is all a matter of perspective. To all the Christians, do you realise that Satanists hate your 'oh-so-holy God' as much as you hate their Prince Satan? Isn't it ironic that while ignorant faithfuls and the HOLY ONES slammed me for denouncing other religions, they are in fact, committing that 'crime' themselves?

What are you God worshippers trying to do anyway by preaching about the lies propagated by other faiths and religions and that the only God is the one in Christanity? Is Christanity trying to monopolise the platter of religious freedom and faith? If so, I am absolutely pleased and exhilarated to tell you that you have just committed a grave moral felony atop another one; religions and faiths are false and Christians are conscripting millions of minds into their almost demonic force.

Enough explained of Satanism and the wrongs of Christanity

For the people who felt that the commandments have contradcted each other, I must say that your level of udnerstanding is absolutely pathetic. In any case, why haven't you Christians been able to rebuke the accuracy and integrity of the commandments? It is simply because the commandments speak of practicality instead of spiritual pipe dreams, Satanism approves of humanity while Christanity sought to destroy it.

About
'9. Do not harm little children' and
'11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him. ~'

I think the person who have argued about how these 2 commandments contradict each other, has obviously chosen not to see the phrase 'When walking in open territory...'. This commandment ,in essence, tells us that on public and free ground, humans should bother no one or they risk getting harmed. I believe that if you are dealing with a small child who is extremely annoying, it is NO LONGER your will and choice to do so, instead, you probably were obligated to do so or were forced to. Therefore, the idea of walking on public and free ground cannot be applied. Also, I do not believe that small children are capable of getting onto the streets in their diapers and start the DISRUPTIVE ART of irritating people.

In case, you intend to set the parameter of small children as an irritating secondary one student, then by all means, DESTROY HIM. Destroy his will to disrupt and irritate. Destroy his happiness. Destroy his spirit. Satanists did not explicitly refer 'destroy' to 'killing or inflicting physical harm'.

HOW LOGICAL SATANISM IS? Am I right? You hypocritical slaves of The Lord. Go on P.R.A.Y.I.N.G that I will stop my massacre of Christanity values. It is laughable.

Let the flame devour your Bible and all the blasphemous teachings

I find it interesting that Christians ATTEMPT to rebuke my ideas using everyday situations and the HOLEY WORDS of the Bible, only to falter and fall in disgrace.

To Christians who live and die by the Bible, please be aware that the Bible IS NOT the word of God. Therefore, it would be irrelevant to counter my arguments using fairy tales and stories of how God e-mailed a sonafabitch about a flood.

It is like saying.....
My Great-grand Mother is the mastermind of a inter-galatical alien invasion. THEREFORE, my argument that you should suck my weenie is TOTALLY, UNDENIABLY and DEFINITELY correct.

how does that sound?

I do not understand the existence of all things and am unable to explain the mechanics of everyday situations. Can you, bible-wielding Christians do any better than me? All of you have no evidence and proof that your dead God is responsible for all the beautiful phenomenoms in the world, yet, such severity of corruption of minds Christians both suffer from and are responsible for, causes all of you to give the PERFECT ANSWER - 'of course god lah. He wanted darkness and he created one in my asshole. HE IS THE C.R.E.A.T.O.R!!! If not... How you explain lah?!'

I mean * WOW!! *

Unfortunately, very often, people succumb to the last statement of the 'answer' because they fear the unknown. The legion of hypocrites will perish. Hey you, reading my blog. You want to go to the heaven exalted by Christians... NOW?

p.s. I am good in my comprehension because I UNDERSTAND and CAN RELATE to the content. You want to try DEFINING God to me?

TwentyNinth Entry

2005-04-17T15:32:00.000+08:00

Faith (II)

Advisory:
The contents of the entry below will offend upholders of faith and religions.

God does not exist. God cannot be dead. There can be no death without life. Similarly, there can be no faith without substantial knowledge and justification of it. The pre-requitsite of faith is belief. Only, with comprehension can belief be achieved and the mind is convinced.

Gospels are a glorification of religious lies.

Gospels: An unquestionable truth

It is ironic how gospels are supposedly the truth but they are, in true nature, questionable. I have personally been approached by evangelists who preached about the man who died for us. Though they speak of the omnipotence of God and the power of Christanity, they are often ignorant of why and how.

Evangelical Liar: Christ is good. He died for us and he made sure that when Bush launches his nukes, our asses, white or black, will be covered.

Skeptical Me: How can you prove it?

Evangelical Liar: I am not God. Don't ask me. I am supposed to convert you though I am trying to cover it up. God is JUST everywhere, there is no need for explanation. You need to believe in him. You should learn to get in touch with him.

Skeptical Me: Sure. How did Christ get resurrected?

Evangelical Liar: No. No. I don't know. I am not God. I am just a bloody little hypocritical son of a bitch, enslaved by Him, to convert people. It is my duty. You should learn to believe him. God is great and fair. He is our saviour and Jesus is the bridge.

This is how evangelists go about their 'duty' that are bestowed upon them. There is a simple reason why so many questions go unanswered during a gospel session; there is no strength in lies.

By using God as an abstract object, they are hoping to pressurise us that we cannot comprehend a higher being of a divine nature. They are banking on the weakness that is evident in human nature; we fear the unknown. Of course, this statement is not exactly accurate in this case because the unknown(God) simply does not exist. Evangelists are therefore, in essence, making the people fear the unknown.

If you think that a human being can be resurrected, you seriously have got to get in touch with reality quickly. Don't give me the nonsence that Jesus is the son of God and therefore, he is special. HE IS A MERE MORTAL. He did not die for us but most probably due to his sermons and false words. He was most probably killed for his preposterous ideas because they were toxicating the minds of the people.

His insignificant death was glorified and immortalised.

Christanity corrupts the mind.

Why do people submit themselves before the very judgement that they are guilty when there are no trials. How can people worship the very religion that trods on the goodness of human nature and drill into us that we are tainted and impure? Why is Christanity maligning humanity?

For all you Christians and Catholics, you should be ashamed of yourselves for your mindless indulgence in such a dark worship that portrays humanity as dark and evil. That is against the laws of humanity; instead of upholding it, Christians are tarnishing the inherent beauty of humans. Christanity is dead. We killed God and glorified Man. Only with no guilt and burden on us can we progress and prosper, then we will work on world peace. We definitely do not need a religion to constantly condemn us and scar us.

How can someone love and hate us? It is said that God saved us because he loves us. However, He insists that we are dirty and tainted. It is contradictory.

'I really love you, Maria. But I condemn you because your boobs ain't big enough. I do not know why I fucked you last night.'

For the Christians and Catholics who have been hiding from the undeniable light of reality, that human is good and graceful. Let me show you the other 9 commandments. Do not be mistaken, I think Satanism should be dead too.

The Nine Satanic Statements

1. Satan represents indulgence instead of abstinence!

2. Satan represents vital existence instead of spiritual pipe dreams!

3. Satan represents undefiled wisdom instead of hypocritical self-deceit!

4. Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it instead of love wasted on ingrates!

5. Satan represents vengeance instead of turning the other cheek!

6. Satan represents responsibility to the responsible instead of concern for psychic vampires!

7. Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all-fours, who, because of his “divine spiritual and intellectual development,” has become the most vicious animal of all!

8. Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification!

9. Satan has been the best friend the Church has ever had, as He has kept it in business all these years!

The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth

1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.

2. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.

3. When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.

4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.

5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.

6. Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.

7. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.

8. Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.

9. Do not harm little children.

10. Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.

11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him. ~

Are you still shackled to the false world of God and heaven?

TwentyEighth Entry

2005-04-08T14:55:00.000+08:00

And the Truth shall Make You Free

Faith is a powerful weapon. It is intangible and its origins are abstract. However, everyone can wield this malefic and potent tool. It manifests itself on the mind and soul. It is ironic that this tool has turned and hurt its smith. The smith is us.

Its potency and strength are largely derived from the fact that it clouds our mind that human destiny is manipulated by a higher order. Fear resides in all Man. We are afraid of things that we are unfamiliar with and have not come into contact with. We all fear the unknown and the phantom. The very term 'phamtom' could not have been more accurately used in relevance to faith.

Phantom: Something existing in perception only

I adopt a sceptical stance towards faith. I have always believed that all faiths and religions are mere fragments of human perception. I cannot understand, much less believe, how religions preach that the 'Creator' is responsible for our existence. There are definitely many people who have the same doubts. Yet, they took the plunge into submission to faith and the divines; when one does so without true belief and complete understanding, he is nothing but a God-fearing man.

I am not implying that there is definitely a way to completely comprehend faith. As mentioned earlier on, faith is but a perception, therefore there is no true and solitary way to interpret faith. This entry will not focus on the investigation of the integrity of faith.

Why is a God-fearing man bad?

Fear drives Man into frenzy. When one chooses to be consumed by a belief that there is a sovereign of all Life, he will slip into a spiral of fear and paranoia, sometimes resulting in extreme actions which unfortunately bear grave consequences.

A God-fearing man is no believer. He is a slave to God. Logically, there should not be any faith which advocates and praises the slavery to God. So. Who is responsible for this trend?

If God should even exist, then I will have nothing against him. But. I definitely cannot condone the actions of the many groups and organisations which strive to propagate His words. If God is existent and His will is transparent, why is there a need for lesser mortals to spread The Word of God?

Man should discover SPIRITUALITY. Not the other way round.

Personally, faith is not for everyone. In fact, there should not even be religions. If one is really so metaphysical that he believes that there is a divine one, then he should just reserve this very precious and special faith to himself. He should not spread it. The rationale is simple. His faith and intepretation of it is exclusive and it is wrong to impose it upon other men because they will not be able to capture the essence of it. In the end, the 'converted one' will simply add to the problem of God-fearing men.

People should not spread faith on the grounds of duty. If this is the case, he is a slave of the Divines; this is wrong. Faith should be strong and free. There are no punishments and reprimands if we do not possess faith. It is entirely up to oneself. How can something which created us, want to destroy us? The notion of non-Christians going to hell offends the true faith.

(in case Christians wish to baboomza me with loads of crap how a naked couple fucked and sinned.... blah blah blah... read the previous paragraph!)

Faith as a Weapon

Terrorism originates from religion. The reason Al-Qaeda is able to attract so many militants is that Osama distorted the teachings of Islam. These militants are not driven by the promise of wealth and fame. They are driven by the promise of a brave, new and ideal Islamic World.

According to reliable sources (pardon me for any mistakes), Allah preached that it was necessary to wage war on the enemies and non-believers of Islam. This war for the cause of religion is called a 'jihad'. (it shows again that faith kills, not let live)

'Jihad' means 'struggle' or 'protest'.

Osama, being yet another brilliant social engineer in history, distorted the definition of the supposedly holy struggle to destroy the 'infidels'. Actually, the terrorism attacks, masked by a certain religious pride, are really based on personal interests and revenge. For more information, check out the book 'Holy War Inc.'!

It is thus evident that faith can be misused as a reason to kill. The militants have fought for decades, oblivious to the very reason why they were fighting. Faith can blind you if you are fear it.

TwentySeventh Entry

2005-03-28T06:34:00.000+08:00

My blog has stirred up quite an amount of controversy. I think I should close it DOWN. NOT. Someone has accused me for not acting what I preached. That I am severely lacking in both social and moral responsibilty because I have churned out offending entries that slam social problems and entries that serve as personal attacks. Before I continue this rather unpleasant and most definitely UNNECESSARY entry, let us define a 'blog'.

blog: A shared on-line journal where people can post diary entries about their personal experiences and hobbies.

To start with, let me remind everyone, especially the person with the rather derogatory and utmost accusative comment, that this is my blog. As you have most probably seen the above definition of a blog, you cannot help agree that, as the proud owner of this blog, I am entitled to write whatever I wish to.

I write what I feel best expresses my thoughts and feelings of the day. Unfortunately, life is cruel to me. I meet assorted idiots that comes in various flavours. In fact, they are so common in my wretched life, that once I went shopping in a supermarket, I saw them sitting on the shelves, besides a promotional poster that screams 'BUY ONE IDIOT AND WE WILL GIVE YOU 10 FREE!' with Slyvester Sim in a Triumph Push-Up Bra, winking at me. (geez)

Therefore, whoever wishes to trod on me and question the integrity of my personality and character. Do not try. Simply, because you do not have the right to do so. Face it. This is my blog. My playground.

Apart from making sure that my stand and rights are clearly and honestly established, I must shed light on one of the worrying trends among many people. Quoted a comment on my tagboard 'Leadership is a 1-man show. Discussion brings confusion. Leadership cannot be shared.', I think that this comment on leadership is very wrong.

Assuming that you are have been a very avid reader of my blog, you would have realised that I admitted that I have monopolised my power and authority in NCC. However, what sets me apart from you is that I think that it is wrong while you insist that it is correct. Monopoly of power is absolutely wrong. How can it be correct? If it is, Hitler will be portayed as a hero today. Not a villain.

Let me tell you why Nazism which worships the SOLE leader is wrong. I am hearing more comments and theories that Nazism is not necessarily bad. Do you think a genocide of 6 million Jews is right? The answer is very obvious for the sane. The only excuse which you would have most probably used to prove that this horrific humanity-defying act is justified, is that Jews deserved to die.

Jews DO not deserve to die. They are humans. Why should racial purity be brought into the judgement of their fate? The genocide clearly mars the palette of humanity. Allow me to give my utmost humble opinion of racial purity, my readers.

FUCK RACIAL PURITY.

For the many who feels that Nazism was justified, I am very sorry but at the time, very amused to tell you that you are one of the millions of people in the Golden Age of Hitler-Worship that was psyched to believe that racial purity is good.

The only one good reason why Nazism works is that it plays on human nature. Every human loves himself or herself. Everyone lives for oneself and no one else. That is where Hitler, an extremely ingenious social engineer, came up with the damned Nazism policy which is the very one that took away millions of innocent lives.

Nazism blurs the line between pride and arrogance of one's identity. That was why Germans, who were ill-treated by the the post WW1 world, embraced Nazism. It gave them an excuse to feel important and superior while in actual fact, they were only deceiving themselves. It was this frenzy in a bid, to mask their own pains, that drove them to believe in racial purity. You can give me 100001 reasons that Nazism is correct but this very horrible genocide will overturn all your arguments because it is human LIVES we are talking about here. Will you like to be killed by me slowly?

After much on the ills of Nazism, one might ask how monopoly of leadership interlinks with Nazism. The argument is simple; if there were actually other leaders brave enough to rebuke Hitler's views and expose to him the true face of Nazism (which is shit), maybe the genocide will not have gone through so smoothly. I am sure it will hurt less to know that there are actually people who throw themselves against the pressing wall of Nazism, simply for the sake of humanity.

If NCC promotes monopoly of leadership which one of the readers strongly and wrongly believe in, NCC will be like Germany eventually, a fallen organisation. Who can guarantee that the leader is always right? Who can ensure that the leader understands his people? Who can guarantee that the leader will act according to his thoughts?

'Act according to his thoughts'? Many times, leaders, including yours truly, do not act according to our thoughts. We may know that our actions reap a bad outcome but we often shroud ourselves in our own illusions that everything will turn out just fine. IN ALL CASES, most decisions made by ONLY ONE leader will benefit the ONE leader the most. It is the truth. I can stand by that statement. Therefore, if you insist that discussion brings confusion, you must be a really lousy leader then.

Then again, all of these are just ideals. Everything I write of is ideals. The world is full of ideals. We are influenced by ideals. Ideals make a perfect and organised world. Ideals make people happy. But. Do we really need to act according to ideals? It is all about asking the correct question.

The person who claims that all I do is preach about ideals is apparently very immature to expect that I lead my life according to the ideals I so write about in my precious blog. Many times, we expect too much of ourselves, we force ourselves to fit in with ideals and to live according to ideals. However, we forgot that we, are the ones who set ideals. Why must we imprison ourselves to the very things that we have set? Aren't we slaves to ourselves then? From this, any person of a sane mind will realise that it is illogical if we push for ideals in our everyday lives. It is impractical to do so.

Why? Dear Kenny, why do you write about ideals so much then? Apart from giving the rather non-satisfying answer that it is my freedom to write, I write about them because it is my dream to see them be put in place to make this world a more loving and peaceful place. I will love to see humanity in her greatest glory and that the world is a better place for us to thrive in. This are my ideals and dreams which reside in me. It need not necessarily be carried out. 'Why? Since ideals
are good, why not?', you might probe.

It is true that ideals, if materialised, will DEFINITELY make the world a better place. However, they are as empty as dreams if there are no power in them. I have no power of such Gargantuan magnitude. I do not have the strength and courage to live according to my ideals, therefore, I write about them frequently, to satiate my hope for a better world. I wish to reach out to many like-minded ones. A very good and realistic example will be that every student has a dream and ideal to be an useful and successful master of their own lives. Thus, every student dreams of themselves spinning money like fabrics and living the high life that is so coveted. Until one day, reality kicks in, and they realise that it is impossible. (the reason is obvious)

I am not ashamed of myself not beng able to live according to ALL of my ideals because it is only human to not be able to do so. 'You', who expects me to, should be shamefaced because you have just exhibited your inmaturity and a lack of understanding of the mechanics of reality. Damn you. 'l' I've got everything I wanted. I am confident and successful. What about you?

TwentySixth Entry

2005-03-24T15:59:00.000+08:00

I think that blogging is really fun. People should start to blog or blog more often, not only is it a good emotion outlet, I think that it really cultivates our mind and soul. It is good that we can blog about pressing issues or simply our thoughts on life.

However.

The pre-requitsite of the mentioned benefits is that your blog must revolve around meaningful issues and not just a recount of your ENTIRE day. Why would anyone want to read about someone's life? More often than not, there is not much variation; you awake, attend school whine about the ridiculous amount of homework and hope that someone will actually say,

"awww... sweety pie. Such a poor thing, wanna lick my ass to feel better?"

It only serves to remind us that all of us are pathetic.

Commonwealth NCC

I feel happy and contented nowadays in trainings because I have changed my perception of leadership. Leadership is never about the leader solely.

Quoting a Senior Specialist from another NCC unit,

Each leader brings a different set of competencies.
For example, one could be great at standing up in front of hundreds and giving an impassioned speech. But if he finds himself, clutching at straws when cross-examined on details, he finds someone else who is strong in strategiv planning to compensate for his weakness.
Leadership is a set of activities, rather than the things you need to be.
It is defined as setting directions, being clear where you want to go, creating alignment, getting and keeping everyone on board, and facing adaptive challenges that come along.
Leadership is not at all one-size-fits-all. Everyone has the capacity to improve and enhance his leadership skills... Leadership is about being the right person, at the right time, with the right skill-sets.

I think that this quote is absolutely correct. Come to think of it, I do have many great assistants, it is utmost unfortunate that I only realise this prior to a week before I pass out. At least, I get to learn this.

I think that the NCC unit will be in good hands. Suddenly, the new wave of leaders looks promising, they look capable and worthy of such a Herculean task of managing a NCC unit. I think this change was brought about because I am starting to trust people, I am choosing to see their strengths instead of their shortcomings.

I do not know if my platoon mates are sad about having to pass out at such an early time but I am sure that all of us are looking forward to the Passing-Out-Parade, the biggest party in CSSNCC. I think it will be great for them to reward us leaders for slogging so hard, fighting tooth and nail for our acheivements today. I could almost feel the electric in the air during the party. What an exhilarating and joyous occasion it will be!

Of course, due to complaints from readers, I have decided not to delve solely on NCC.

Humanity

You probably have heard this magical word everywhere you go. This word is of utmost importance because it reflects us humans. It is a trait that all of us SHOULD have, unfortunately, not all of us possess it. Before this discussion continues, have you ever asked yourself what is humanity?

It is funny that few of us actually grasp the idea of humanity even though we are humans. That is the prime reason why our present world is plagued with violence, wars, crimes and poverty. It is ironic that humanity, or rather the failure to comprehend ourselves that actually is the root of all problems.

Humanity: -the quality of being humane
-All of the inhabitants of the earth
Humane: -Marked or motivated by concern with the alleviation of suffering
-Showing evidence of moral and intellectual advancement

Pertaining to the first definition of 'humane', we are simply cold and immune to the sufferings and turmoils in this world. Without compassion and mutual respect, the world will only plunge into a dark age of humanity. There will be more people dying and what you will see on the streets are no longer people, but merely something that has taken the form of a human. Everyone will just be a void shell, unfeeling and insensate. As you can see from the former statement, there is a link to both definitions of being humane.

If we cannot feel and empathise, we will have violated the first definition of being humane. It is self-explanatory and understandable unless you have been hiding in some caves, making out with dinosaurs for the past centuries. (then again, you would not have been able to read this) Of course, this statement which so stands on the borders of 'corniness' relates to the second definition of being humane.

To be humane, we must prove our existence. Everyone has a different way to prove their existence. Some people attain it by earning truckloads of money, some choose to use spiriuality to define existence while some kill to prove their existence. However, the last reason is invalid, to prove that one's humanity is intact, he must show evidence of moral and intellectual advancement. The act of killing others is obviously in comtempt of moral advancement. The brutality of denying existence of humanity (all inhabitants on Earth) can never co-exist with humanity.

No. No. I am not saying that people who strives for material things in life are necessarily morally upright. However, it shows that they have intellectual advancement. They want to glorify themselves as humans, (humanity) improve the standard of living and to uphold humanity. There is no sane businessman, I believe, who will want humanity to fail so that all the wealth will be his. Their starting points might be different; for selfish or selfless gains, but they certainly should not oppose humanity. With wealth and social advancement, humanity can be upholded. It is that simple. There is a gauge of humanity, look at the number of people in the world who are starving 50 years ago and compare it with the present.

People who attempt to use spiritual means to understand humanity contributes to humanity because it represents intellectual development and the courage to go into contact with a power much higher than humanity. Of course, I still think that Christians can go to hell and Satanists can come kiss my ass. :p

Humanity is what defines our existence. However you want to live and every breath contribute to humanity because humanity is great, it links all the life on Earth together. Whether humanity fails or prospers depends on humans, no one else is and, can be responsible for the fate of humanity. You and I have a part to play. Do you have humanity?

TwentyFifth Entry

2005-03-19T13:15:00.000+08:00

It has been an exciting week. I have done lots of self-discovery and reflection both on life and NCC. Yesterday was an enjoyable day at NCCHQ. I literally mean 'day' because we spend more than 14 hours at NCCHQ to help out with the NCC Challenge Quest 2005 as a supernumerary. We were there from 7.45am to 10.35pm.

I always look forward to such activities. It is fun to be with my supernumerary friends. We have much in common, we all want to pursue greater glory and honour in NCC. It is more of a goal to us, it is a dream. For many of us, we feel that NCC life is empty and meaningless unless we have passion in it. We want to give something back to the CCA that has taught and gifted us so much.

NCC Challenge Quest 2005

The day started early. We were briefed at about 7.50am and there were some CLTs who were late. I got the duty of being the road marshal. I was supposed to disallow any vehicles into the parade square. It was not an easy job at all, there were some very persistent drivers with funny reasons. There were also conflicting instructions from the SAF lieutanents and Warrant Officers, as a result, we got quite a bit of flak for letting the wrong vehicles in sometimes. Nonetheless, we were not angry after relfecting upon it. They were proabably extremely stressed and anxious for the cadets' safety. There was just some confusion at the ops command.

After what seems like eternity, we were released for lunch break and things were beginning to look exciting. My friends were on a quest themselves to look for pretty girls. Ranjeet and I went on a quest to collect freebies from the SAF open house.

It was only 2.35pm then and having completed our duties, we were free to roam around. Pretty boring after a while, therefore my friends suggested that we go volunteer ourselves for the evening 104km run road marshals as well. I was supposed to be in second detail which meant that my marshal duties would start at 6.00pm but somehow, I was called to duty at 5.00pm.

After a flurry of monotonous hand signals for 2 plus hours, someone told me it was time to knock off. By then it was around 7.30pm after having my dinner which tasted... well ... funny. However, 7.30pm was well away from the projected dismissal time of 10pm! I need to find something interesting to do. There is no point to sleep in the learning room because we have already committed ourselves for the entire day, I told myself that I must make sure that the time spent is worth it and enriching, we could have slept at home too right?

Thus, I ventured far out into the running route where I would spend close to 3 hours chatting with my supnumerary mates from other schools. There was a SAF specialist who was really affable and sociable, he shared with us many things in the army.

We have actually thought that the day will be extremely boring but new found friends made it so much easier to grind through the day. Cheers ISTIMEWAS!!

TwentyFourth Entry

2005-03-17T03:34:00.000+08:00

Dedication Yang Istemewa

I spend my 2 precious days of my holidays at NCCHQ for Supernumerary lectures. I learnt not only many lessons which can be applied to effective management of the unit, but also that my fellow cadets from other schools are really affable. Being in the company of the many other student leaders made me feel very at ease because I can relate to them. I can almost see how they painstakingly prop up their unit; they seem very experienced and extremely capable. The cadets must have really great leaders. We also laughed at each other because some of us do really stupid things! However, we do not feel offended. For example, there was this malay guy who was writing down the points for our district After Action Review (AAR), his spelling was ACTROCIOUSSSS! We all teased him as his stitch-inducing spelling mistakes render us reeling on the ground in laughter. We really had a great time, including him. Because we do not look down on him, we laugh with him, not at him. In the end, he was laughing with us too. I guess this must be one of the perks of being a supernumerary, that is to be able build a tight and close bond with many of our same kind.

After the lectures, I realised that I have not managed my unit properly. I realised that I have tried to be too much of a solo-effort. I should have shared the leadership with my platoon mates; it is too late now, I feel guilty that I have deprived many of my friends of the share of leadership they so very deserve. Also, I have caused pain to myself for the burden I unwittingly put on myself because I was hell-bent on monopolising the leadership. I should have trusted my friends more.

I feel that I should change the way that our school unit is run. I will ensure that the management methods are improved and that there is transparency in leadership and decision-making. After the first two sessions of the supernumerary lectures, I caught a glimpse of what is really meant by 'being a supernumerary'. Not only do we serve for the sole purpose for personal honour, we are supposed to be special. We are loyal to the corps and will bring it to greater heights. We have special dedication. That is why we are called 'supernumeraries' or 'Istemewa'.

TwentyThird Entry

2005-03-14T10:47:00.000+08:00

ADVENTURES OF THE KEKEKEKE COMMUNITY

Today is a fine day. Which means. I shall bitch about people. In case, you are expecting some retarded fake laughter that follows, I am not going to do it.

BECAUSE IT ONLY PROVES THAT YOU ARE UNHINGED TO
1)laugh at something you write in your very own blog
2)laugh at a computer screen, fantasising about yourself wearing a cloak and laugh like a retard.

Then again, many girls do it. I think tHeSe PpLezZ wHO LaUghhhz lIkE ThIs 'MuhahahahaZZ' should be restrained in a straight jacket and have a honry and drunk Michael Jackson beside them 25 hours a day.

The reason is simple. A human laughs like 'hahahahahaha' or in online lingo, a 'lol' will be more than enough, there is no reason why you waste the extra seconds (or perhaps hours) writing in excruciating alternating big and small letters.

However, I do not discriminate these people. They are just trying to communicate. It is exactly like chimpanzee talk. We think that their language is ridiculous and they have the same opinion of us. More often than not, in a particular phrase in life, girls will develop retardedspeakologist syndrome and they will speak a code so intricate and convulated that it threatens to make any male's jewels shrink and his weewee droop should he attempts the Herculean task of diciphering and tolerating it. I have a feeling that they enjoy speaking in retardedspeakolist tonuge. I must eradicate this phamtom that is clouding all the bitches' minds on this lovely planet.

Tip of the Day:
Wear an underwear with titanium padlocks complete with biometric security feature should you go to Neverland Ranch. It is better if you have not changed in a month and have sprayed fungi-growth fertilisers on your underwear.

Then again, girls who goes KeKekEz might not understand what the above statement is, because they are too busy flipping through stacks of magazines, raving and crowing over Chinese POP stars. I think these Chinese 'singers' are like sex workers. They sell albums using their looks and when you listen to them sing, it is as though they try so hard that their balls go well... POP!

YAY! So far, retarded women and Chinese POP (hahaha!) stars SUCKS.

STRANGE MALES

It was a cool Friday afternoon. Seated in a cool corner of the school canteen and relishing the almost mechanical flow of human traffic, I scanned for an interesting event, the sadistic instinct in me wishing that something unpleasant will befall someone. Alas, I saw a herd of male morons gobbling their feed 2 tables to my left.

Now, these morons wear mops of golden, bleached and brown mops of hair on their head, I even spotted one with a red cap, that particular one has such an unbelievably fair complexion that defies all definitions of masculine. He has narking and small beady eyes, one of them hidden by one of his overflowing golden fringe. He looks extremely arrogant (which would prove to be right) and cocky.

While the morons were devouring their meal, Mr Seah, our OM, approached them and questioned them on their outrageous hairstyles and their attire of soccer jerseys which are unacceptable in a school. His rationale was absolutely correct, Mr Seah was supposed to ensure that the school is protected at all times.

Apparently, they were graduates. I recognised one of their faces. Uncivilised crap. Suddenly, the golden fringed moron raised his voice admist a flurry of uncouth hand gestures at Mr Seah. Mr Seah was shocked. This is an outrage! The morons were told to leave if they do not abide by the rules but this only prompted the rude moron to adopt an even more aggressive stance. Finally, despite attempts to expel them from the school, the morons unashamedly clung onto their seats, refusing to leave.

I think that they should be shot. Who are they anyway to raise their voices at our school's staff? These uncivilised pigs who are void of any parental teachings. I think that they are weird because these 17 or 18 years old males actually hang out with 15/16 year old females, stooping to their slightly immature and childish level. As far as I know, they seem to enjoy it. What a disgrace?! Get a life, pigs!

Do they actually think that they are superior and powerful because they dared to defy the man whom they once feared in the school days? I think those bitches should be shot for conniving with these human thrash. FUCK ALL OF YOU JACK RABBITS!

I hate people who shove their arrogant faces into authority. Beware, more often than not, they get scarred.

TwentySecond Entry

2005-03-10T14:44:00.000+08:00

My life has undergone a metamorphosis. I love life because I learnt to love. No. No. Naughty readers, I am not in a relationship because I feel it is false love and almost hypocritical as most of the time, the girl just want to savour her pretty baby boy face while the boy must be thinking of 1001 ways of bedding the feminine one. But I digressed.

The love I experienced is love for myself and my parents, I recently woke up to the surreal but morbid truth that I had lived for 16 years in vain because I was living in an illusion generated by my frenzied mind and almost megalomaniac mentality. Therefore, I realised that I will have to live my life to the fullest, I will embrace myself for I am a miracle to my loved ones.

quoted 'One who values and embraces life is not weak' ~annonymous

What happens after we die?
I have been pondering what happens to us when we die. I certainly reject all the spiritual gibberish that the good ones go to the purgatory while the bad ones go burn in hell. I do not think that we mere living things have the ability to transcend our mortal shells because we are weak even in our life, let alone death. To understand death, we must be able to understand life.

I feel that life is present because of a mind energy inside every living thing. This mind energy should not be confused with brain power and thoughts. This mind energy is just a primitive and basic consciousness that allows to feel that we are alive; to many other people, this is often referred to the essence of life. Now, this mind energy does not allow us to feel sad or curse and swear in our deaths because it is simply a definition of the body that we are alive. What does it truly means to be alive then? To be alive and receptive of the world and our surroundings, we have senses and the brain to take in and process the info. We have the various systems in our body to solely ensure that these processes are able to be carried out.

In other words,
consciousness + senses with systems to support organs = awareness of world (life)

What happens when we die is that our systems and bodily functions stop, this in turn nulls our senses. Without these senses,we would not be able to be aware of our surroundings. We cannot hear, see, talk, think, smell, have emotions. What we have left is our consciousness, the essence of life that never diminishes. All that is left of us will be consciousness inside our body. Like a caged bird. Imagine laying inside a container for a very long time but not able to to sense anything or even feel anything. You are just an intangible mystique trapped inside a container.

It must be really painful to die then. On the other hand, we would not be able to feel anything or think about it because our consciousness is not capable of that. It is a raw form of life. Our consciousness is thus like the information encrypted in a hard disk and electricty is senses which would complement the information. Only then can life be truly defined. When we die, all that is left is information in the hard disk locked up forever.

Therefore, life is a choice for many people. Do you define life as the sensual sector or the consciousness? Can one of them exist without each other? Can we really solve humanity?

Twentyfirst Entry

2005-03-01T12:37:00.000+08:00

It is a fine day today. I am very happy with my Chinese O' level results. Though it may seem insignificant and almost insensitive to talk about it on the blog, I hope to share my feelings and the mental turmoil that raged inside me while waiting for the results.

Today is the first time I felt genuinely afraid of my exam results. I have always been non-chalent about my test results because I do not think that they are really important in my education experience. I just want to have fun learning. However, the unpleasant vision of my life crumbling because of my failure in the O' levels that looms above me felt especially real today. Yes, I have shamelessly parading myself, proclaiming my contempt for the O' levels, boasting how unimportant it is, and how childish and stupid it is to worry about it. However, this unprecedented fear grappled me by my throat, forcing me to purge those ridiculous words out today. I was scared.

I was so nervous and frightened of my future that I even openly displayed my horrible and selfish side. I actually openly cursed all my classmates that they would do badly so that the chances of me doing so would be diminished. I feel so embarassed that I should reveal such an ugly side of me.

Alas, the moment came and I found out I got an A1. However, I was indifferent because I was simply too shellshocked by the results. I have been all too traumatised by the earlier rituals and ominous prenomitions that I simply did not feel any joy. It was as though it was normal to get the distinction all of a sudden. What an irony?! I was feeling dazed throughout the whole process. It was not until an hour or two that I started to realise the joy and relief that has just befallen the confused and puzzled me.

Therefore, I have learnt today that the O'levels is not a joke. You know you are on the right path if only you are feeling scared. You are no hero if you speak lightly of it, you would be just as childish as me. Before.

Twentieth Entry

2005-02-25T13:58:00.000+08:00

The Unparalleled Glory

There is nothing which can express my europhia well enough. What a glorious year for Commonwealth NCC. We clinched Gold. I am jubilant and overjoyed that WE actually did it. The fact that we made it happen was the sweetest part of my NCC life so far. It is different from the Gold award when I was in Part A. It did not make me feel special. This missing jigsaw piece from my NCC life, you people shedded blood and sweat to find it. Thank you, it has made my NCC life wholesome.

Damn the school. For all your nonsense you gave us, we had replied you with a Gold so lustrous it would sear all your cynical eyes and shut those complaint-happy mouths up. All this while, you must have been underestimating us and undermining our abilities and capabilities, that is why this achievement is especially sweet. So sacharrine sweet that you cannot swallow this resonating fact that we are the kings of Commonwealth.

I am really happy because my dream is fufilled. Thank you. Everyone.

CSSNCC 2004 OWNS ALL.

Nineteenth Entry

2005-02-14T14:50:00.000+08:00

It has been a good period in NCC. Firstly, the weekly Friday PT sessions are very successful and morale has been rather high. Secondly, I would not have to leave NCC soon after all, I can watch the unit grow after all. I passed the supernumerary selection. I am proud of myself.

The League of Extraordinarily Stupid Teachers

2005 has been a rather fun year, punctuated with numerous leaps of milestones for the unit. However, we feel strangled by the goddamn policies made by the school. It is as though everyone is against us. They are killing us.

The greatest joke of the century or perhaps, even of the eon, is that the parade square do not belong to the NCC. Mind you. The NCC, the creme of the crop and the premier uniform group globally. We are actually relegated to the 'front of the HOD room' or the pathetic 'corridor of the NCC room'.(the corridor is pathetic and not the room!) This is absurd. It is tantamount to asking the athetics club to run in an ice-skating rink.

THE PARADE SQUARE BELONGS TO NCC. 25 hours a day.

The school has actually forbidden us to assemble in the parade sqaure before 3pm. 'Because the sun is so hot that it will melt the dicks off the cadets'. This policy is a distraction. It is definitely unnecessary. Who controls the sun anyway? It is not as though the sun will definitely go down at 3pm. I mean it could be sweltering hot even at 5pm. I cannot see the rationale behind this policy.

Instead of assembling in the parade square which is rightfully ours, we have resorted to falling in 'in front of the HOD room'. The school threatened to close down the unit if we do not conform to their unreasonable requests.

While my blood boils dry at such a barbaric threat, I saw the netball girls practising in the parade square. Apparently, some motherfucking teachers sabotaged us and reported us to the principal for 'subjecting the cadets to tortures under the afternoon sun' while in actual fact, we were just taking attendance... The rest of the school is against us. They want to see us dead. They want to see us fall. FUCK ALL OF YOU. We are going to shove the goddamn awards down all your rotting throats and shut all you weaklings up for good.

After implying that netball GIRLS are tougher than NCC cadets, the school still had not have enough. They pulled our teacher officer into the principal office one day demanding an explanation for us falling in at the parade square at 2.40pm. (we were taking attendance again) The principal had thought that we were holding a muster parade or something of that nature which was totally false.

The best part is that the teacher officer meekly succumbbed to the principal and apologised to her profusely with his dick shrunk in. He clearly did not stand on our side. How could he? A 2nd LT (NCC) not know that we were merely taking attendance? I am terribly disappointed. One day, I am going to fuck all the teachers upside down and get them to stand on our side again. The rot has been going on for too long.

The whole school is against us. Every teacher is sabotaging us. Even when we are doing PT under a slight drizzle, they told on us that we were torturing the cadets again. Should we get a gold unit award this year, you would not see us smile to the principal during the award presentation. We shall be arrogant of the abilities we possess, the school shall have none of our glory. Not even a drop. We are being kind already by letting all of you take in the sight of our supreme glory.

My Personal Life

Infinite thanks to:

lynette
jiaqi
zhixin

for the extremely wonderful birthday gifts.

Thou shalt teacheth only what thou know. MORON.

Eighteenth Entry

2005-01-26T14:54:00.000+08:00

This week is a challenging week in NCC. Not only did I have to ensure that the Muster Parade did not screw up, I was also given less than a night to complete a concise training programme from now till April. Nonetheless, it was fun. I like the feeling of being important.

I am feeling apprehensive of the upcoming NCC supernumerary selection test this coming Friday. It looks enticing but I was told it comes with a GARGANTUAN price. Therefore, I am in a dilemma. Whatever it is, I just hope SsG_Latiff@hotmail.com does not go to the supernumerary course.

This week is a good NCC week. The muster parade did not screw up and the CO was happy with my programme. I was especially proud of the latter because I spent so much effort on it.

This week is also a good SCHOOL week. Unexpectedly, I got an A2 for my Chinese test; not saying that it is superb but I was hoping fervently to get at least 60 to spare myself from any embarassment. It was a nice surprise.

The Indifference
I am feeling upset because time is not on my side. I want to do so much more and just watch the unit grow. Not that I am power-hungry, I just want to ensure that the unit does not go topsy-turvy after I leave, I am extremely concerned about the CCA which has given me so much. I just feel so indebted to it.

It is sad for me, sometimes, to attend NCC trainings, observe the surroundings and find no one on the same frequency as me. No one loves NCC and it is painful for me to come to it sometimes. This is ironic. I just feel this contradiction within me. It is as though I love something which causes me pain. It is painful for me because they think differently from me and I feel lonely sometimes as though they are strangers.

I do not think I could put my feelings into words or speech sufficiently. I tried to tell people what I think. I feel so hurt when they labelled me as corny or stupid. Though they did not enunciate the latter, I could feel the spike in their voice mocking me. So often, they just laughed the topic off and brushed me aside. They probably think that I am just being boastful and unnecessarily EMOTIONAL about it just because I am of higher (not high) rank. Why would I want to destroy something I helped build and love so much?

I doubt that I am in the culture I so need. People here are just too indifferent.

Seventeenth Entry

2005-01-02T13:20:00.000+08:00

I hope the new principal does not screw up like some old bitch did.

WARNING: Mrs Teo, you'd better grant NCC the Guard-of-Honour this year or I will jam durian seeds into your car exhaust pipe.

It is sad that I can no longer enjoy NCC life. It is as though something which is part of me all along is about to be taken away from me. That looming feeling is horrible. I feel that I have so much more to do for the unit and I have not been doing a great job. No. There IS so much I have yet to do. I regret the time I wasted.

NCC is what has moulded and toughened me. This is definitely true. All the pains and journey I experienced. I just cannot bear to leave it behind.

I cannot help but think of this since this is the year 2005 already.

Sixteenth Entry

2004-12-21T08:28:00.000+08:00

I think friendster is becoming a hip website to visit again. I find a lot of entertainment from it. Someone by the FUCKING EMAIL of Ssg_latiff@hotmail.com tried to add me. I know he is the mind-fuck from Camp Pinaccle. To think that even his email address is so corny. So what if he is a Staff Sergeant? I do not think there is a need to declare to the world. This is a indication of how many worthless and self-centred leaders there are in NCC units.

He should not have attempted to add me in Friendster because I am reminded of his stupidity and dumb actions.

NOW... WE HATE HIM TO THE CORE BECAUSE HE IS A POSER
and may the wild pigs copulate you if you read this because I do not care.

you suck. the rest of us don't.
please be forewarned that the below story is entirely non-fiction. any distress and anger caused is complimentary and a free middle finger would be given.

THE CHRONICLES OF CAMP PINACCLE
The story continues and the above-mentioned poor fish developed a stage name and a brain as tiny as his weenie. He shouted to the world via Friendster that he as a stage name- NitroX. ** 1, 2, 3.... POOSSSSSEEERRRRRR!!!! ** WOW! He has a alter-ego on stage too. COOL...not.

We had a blast discussing how much of an asscrack he was during Camp Pinaccle. A USM playing with water in file and making fun of how someone looks like (in file too) show us how great his school unit really is.

Suddenly, the ALMIGHTY and OMNIPOTENT Cadet Lieutanants make their prescence and he transformed into a fat and brown leader who possesses superb discipline and high expectations. I found it funny because I never had a Muslim wild boar as a commander before. Nonetheless, we marched off anyway to our next destination.

During the march, I giggled within myself because what I saw cotradicts with logic.
1)A wild boar is wearing the No.4 uniform
2)His pants are falling off (illogical because he has a gargantua waistline)
3)A wild boar is marching on 2 legs and singing cheers
4)A wild boar carrying a water bottle
5)A wild boar is my commander (my brain still cannot compute this fact)

Soon, we arrived at Cadets' Night and SsG_Latiff@hotmail.com started to sing a Chinese song which sounded like he needs a toilet badly. Then he proceeded to interact with the audience by doing an animal dance and speaking in 'Hip-Hop' janga. We faced one another and smirked. He was pathetic. He probably need to have more of 'NitRoX' pumped into his empty skull.

And so, the story ends.

I, Phua Jing Wen, Kenny, S8902789F, loyal Singaporean and NCC cadet, do hereby.... NOT feel any remorse of the racism or whatsoever offence including religion, but not limited to, caused to the patron of this post. Because I hate people who flaunt their damn rank and wear it on them whereever they go like a badge.

Because it is not. In any case, SsG_Latiff@hotmail.com... you do what people do to a straw.

Fifteenth Entry

2004-12-12T16:54:00.000+08:00

Camp Pinnacle is over. Though all of us complained that it was B O R I N G. We all know that there was a fair share of fun. All the night wrestlings and bitching about the gay schools were the most enjoyable part of the camp. However, personally, my greatest and most valuable gain from this camp was that I made many friends from other schools. PROPS to SHUQUN SEC NAN HUA SEC BUKIT BATOK SEC BUKIT VIEW SEC senior specialists. They made the camp so much tolerable. Basically, I learnt more about NCC and its operational procedures and some leadership lessons.

The important and a very useful thing I picked up. A good leader must never be emotional in his duty. I think this is very true because I saw the consequences of not obeying this rule.

I was one of the luckiest few to be able to attend the more interesting field trips during the camp. The SAF vehicles I got a chance to ride on includes

-Fokker-50 plane
-RHIB (Rigid Hull Inflatable Boat)
-RSS Endeavour

Seriously the goodie bags and the RHIB ride were worth the 5-day camp already.

The last of my journey in NCC was a wonderful and meaningful one. Fuck Camp Pinaccle. I love it.

Fourteenth Entry

2004-12-01T16:08:00.000+08:00

Graduated from the Senior Specialist Course. Surprisingly, the female cadets are really good in their drills. Particularly Cedar Girls and Crescent Girls. So they are not as LAME and bad as people made them out to be. Much better than some of the boys. I think many schools are gay. They actually think that being the USM is cool. **rolls eyes** I do not know if they meant it that way but that is my intepretation. Made many friends in the course. Learnt more about the Sea and Air element. I get turned off by insensitive people. URGH. Close-minded fucks. Discussed taboo topics with me. You are just feeling insecure and helpless. But I digress. Though the course is nowhere near fun, I did absorb some quotes which set me thinking for the past 3 days and probably in the near future. My Senior CLT Raudha is really experienced and possesses superb leadership. She has a certain influence that I can never emulate. She taught us many things. That is to me, time well spent in exchange for this little but precious amount of wisdom. I can be a better leader now.

Thirteenth Entry

2004-11-22T15:06:00.000+08:00

Went shopping with Rachel, Lynette, Dawn and Fangling. Did not think expect it to be so much fun. Rachel had an EASY time choosing her cap. I took the funny looking granny-style-half-broken mat while Fangling was kind enough to help me take the bag. I realised that bikinis come in sizes contrary to my initial belief that they are 'stretchable' and 'one-size-fits-all'. I wonder what my size is. I am sick. So she is not hostile after all.

I'm gonna kill you.

You spurious shit.

How dare you judge me?

twelveth entry

2004-11-21T11:41:00.000+08:00

TRIBUTE

Congratulations to Secondary 4s on their completion of escape from this muh'multiplying school called Commonwealth. A little shout to all Eminem fans, do go get his new 'Encore' album. Full of tracks with depth. I got so much to say but you ain't around. It has been a great and bad NCC week. I think I can secure some training sessions in December. ** LAUGHS ** Fuck you whoever crucified me. Guard of Honour is nearing and my blood is making me excited. My conclusion of my NCC career. It suddenly dawns on me that all was but a fleeting period of europhia. But even if I feel this way, what about my dear fellow specialists? Do they feel worse? To slog for these 3 unforgettable years and be dropped off and labelled as 'potential'. I know it might be inappropraite for me to purge my thoughts here. But I just want to fucking shout out to you homies that I really appreciate what you people have done to raise me up. Thank you. Props to all 2004 partC Commonwealth NCC mates. My tribute.

PS. Don't spit a single word if you don't have the capacity to. Cut your pseudo-intellectual whoop-la around me. You only hurt youself.

Eleventh Entry

2004-11-15T14:38:00.000+08:00

I went to watch Disney's 'Winnie The Pooh and the Perfect Day'. Nice show with excellent effects. First time I went to Expo. NCC is going through a rough patch. My COs and TOs are killing my dear unit. What do they know about NCC to interfere with OUR decisions? Now I understand how the previous batch felt. MOTHERMULTIPLYING COPULATING close-minded fucks. Oops. Guess I have to use the forbidden word after all. But i digress. Apart from NCC, my life has been really great. Just watched a great Disney show and I am going to CGS band concert on Tuesday. Think it will be most entertaining. I feel so blessed. She is beautiful.

Tenth Entry

2004-10-17T14:41:00.000+08:00

Finally bothered to blog. NCC is going to start soon. Great because I love it. It seems like decades since I last went to NCC. I love shopping. I think I am very gullible. Got decieved by some mothermultiplying non-Chinese in school. I shall be unforgiving. The secondary 4s have escaped from the clutches of Mrs Terrance. Good. Because it is not fun having a black monkey being your slave master. I think she slimmed down. She is still black like activated carbon. CONGRATULATIONS to secondary 4s.

Blessed be the Lord my strength, which teacheth my hands war and my fingers to fight quoted Coporal Jackson of Shaving Ryan's Privates.... I mean Saving Private Ryan

PS. Some Nigga is a poser.

NinthEntry

2004-09-28T06:40:00.000+08:00

Feel that O'Levels is nearing. Literally. Express Chinese on 1st Nov. Life is getting rather challenging and interesting. Examinations and freedom awaits me. Cannot wait for NCC to resume. Been walking around recently with a blank in my mind. As though I am from another galaxy. Strange. Going to show you people 2 cool lyrics from songs in this entry.

fifteen thousand tears i cried - Going under by Evanescence
you motherfuckers could never do it like i could do it. don't even try to look stupid. do not pursue it. - Soldier by Eminem

EighthEntry

2004-09-26T15:07:00.000+08:00

Don't go
You know you will break my heart
She won't love you like I will.
I’m the one who’ll stay
When she walks away
And you know I’ll be standing here still

I’ll be waiting for you
Here inside my heart
I’m the one who wants to love you more
You will see I can give you
Everything you need
Let me be the one to love you more

See me as if you never knew
Hold me so you can’t let go
Just believe in me
I will make you see
All the things that your heart needs to know

SeventhEntry

2004-09-22T09:18:00.000+08:00

Had my oral examination finally. Manageable. Enjoying Eminem music. Destress. No new thoughts derived from reflections recently. Maybe I am too tired. Damn. Sitting before the computer for decades yet cannot squeeze a drop of my thoughts onto this blog.
Purple candy clouds of fantasy

SixthEntry

2004-09-20T04:46:00.000+08:00

NCC went to Seoul Garden for celebration yesterday night. Ate till we burst as much as our wallets did. The food was not fantastic but it was fun to eat in such a large group. Went to watch GHOST later on. Scary. Really. Happy today. Read in the newspapers that MOE announced that uniformed groups do not have to adhere to the 5-day week policy. Great. Or not, because after trying the Friday training schedule, the idea was pretty good and it was welcomed by the juniors too. MMMM... Have to ponder over it once more.

I linger in the doorway. Alarm clocks screaming. Monsters calling my name.

FifthEntry

2004-09-18T11:30:00.000+08:00

First Friday NCC training in Commonwealth history. Was not as bad as I thought to be. Had a NCC meeting. Maybe I was wrong to stick with my ideals, Friday seems a better option after all. Maybe a schedule revamp would do the trick. Learnt something today. Realised I have not been acting what I preach. A good leader should never complain and should work around constraints. Happy with my Specialists. They are more confident and enthusiastic. Today is a GREAT NCC day. Revolution.

the fun stops when your homie is up in a box

FourthEntry

2004-09-17T09:42:00.000+08:00

Been a long time since i blogged. Workload was heavy recently. Damn cough and skipped my English oral examination. Cannot wait for the first ever Friday NCC training in Commonwealth, wonder how it would be. Damn. Wished some specialists can behave better, tired of reminding them of the heavy responsibilities they were entrusted with. Suddenly reflected on my thoughts and learnt something. An uncivilised leader can never be a good leader. Mmmmm... New thoughts everyday.

ThirdEntry

2004-09-14T06:52:00.000+08:00

Don't understand what is on MOE's mind. Are they trying to start an education revolution merely because of the arrival of the new Prime Minister? By introducing the 5-day school week, they have disrupted what has been working for decades. Read in the news that MOE advises schools to ADJUST accordingly to the new policy. Maybe it is just me. Don't see any feasible ADJUSTMENTS. The pseudo-education revolution reeks of hypocrisy. MOE should not attempt to impose upon us the supposedly-new face of the Singapore education system at the expense of the students. Think they could have attracted attention in a less controversial method. Worked up. NCC is affected. No more Saturday trainings. DAMN. Underneath all the seemingly exemplary systems in place, a fresh wave of hypocrisy waits, to exacerbate the moral quality of the government.

SecondEntry

2004-09-13T13:08:00.000+08:00

School reopens tomorrow. New blogskin. Thanks to jiaqi. Gee. NCC is getting more exciting every week. Glad that all are specialists. After all the sweat and blood, we have all finally graduated. Interestingly, Commonwealth NCC cadets have CLOSE bonds with Crescent Girls cadets. And I ain't spared either. Not telling who.

FirstEntry

2004-09-11T22:53:00.000+08:00

Finally got a blog. Wonder if it will be fun. Listening to Eminem-White America now. Gee. This is brain-sapping work.

The Half-Assed Social Commentary

My Shaken Faith

my thoughts

SBS

a tribute to friends

whee!?

The Land of Bollywood

hockey

SSC2006

The World Needs More Love

SYFOC 2006 Experience

Poke-Uproar

=))

96 hours

This blog smells like a dead animal

Fun-filled PAE

damn it. It is actually ''maktab''

Maktub!

GASP! School! How to hold a pen?!

On starting fires and burning dogs

I lost count of the number of entries.

Maybe psychosis is not curable after all...

a week's thoughts on a platter

46th Entry

Did you guys know... That Kenny Phua listens to opera?

** drum roll ** 45th Entry! spell it. FOUR TEE FIVE.

44.6th Entry

44.5th Entry - when i write POYAM... u better sit in ur underwear n listen

FortyFourth Entry - to girl (die! you mothercopulating female mutt)

an urgent interruption: PROPAGANDA MESSAGE

FortyThird - 43 + 61 = 104

FortySecond Entry - Bahaya Jangan Dekat

FortyFirst Entry - loving white red blue

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Big Fourtieth Entry - Love Singapore

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ThirtyEighth Entry : 3 8 kenny

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drum roll 45th Entry! spell it. FOUR TEE FIVE.